When I was little I used to be obsessed with Dora the Explorer. I know...don't judge me. As I got older my obsession evolved into That's So Raven, Hannah Montana, The Jonas Brothers, One Direction, and Lord knows what else.
The reason why I am telling you these borderline personal secrets is because today, in part 4 I want to talk about change. Change is a hard but healthy thing. I used to be so obsessed with Dora, but if I had not evolved and matured my interests then I would have been an 80 year old woman who was still obsessed with a child's cartoon. Now let's just take a minute to think about ridiculous that would look...
Okay minute is up! The point is that as we get older things change; your interests, your hobbies, the things that make you tick, and sometimes even you yourself.
The more experiences we have in life the more we may grow the desire to make self improvements and become a better version of ourselves then we already are. A lot of times God will send a wake up call our way, in hopes that we will realize we need to work on one or more of the fruits of the spirit.
Me personally, God has opened my eyes to realize that the things I need to work on the most are peace, patience, and love.
Let me just break it down for a second...
1st of all in case you don't know, these are the fruits of the spirit, in no specific order:
Love
Peace
Joy
Patience
Gentleness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Self Control
Patience:
Over the years I have had my fair share of moments where I was a little impatient. With people I have always had a whole lot of patience, and it really does take a lot for me to get upset with someone; that still does not mean that I don't slip up every now again. I convinced myself that because I have so much patience in general, especially when it comes to people (not so much with technology), that I was pretty A okay in that department and it was time to move onto a different fruit of the spirit. But God stopped me in my tracks and said "No Hannah there is still some work that needs to be done regarding patience in your spirit.
He showed me that despite having patience for everybody else the one area I struggled with the most was romance. This may sound like a non related subject or something that doesn't matter, but it does. I have always believed, and I still do, that there is someone out there for everyone. Someone who will love you regardless of what you look like or what you do. Someone who will always be there for you and in times of difficulty they will stay and work it out versus leaving and just giving up.
Despite the challenges of the dating world there is hope. You can look all around at couples who have made it work. Do you want to know the secret? Jesus Christ. You think I'm playing don't you??? I don't think I could be more serious to be honest. Keeping Christ in the center of your relationship with anyone, especially a life partner, you will be set up for success. You will have yourself set up for a relationship filled with strength, compassion, and an equal partnership. Do you know why? Because God is love, and if you are putting the creator and the actual being of love inside of your relationship then surely you will be set up for success.
That does not mean that you won't come across problems, but it does mean that you will have the strength and patience to overcome them. What I, and a lot of other people, need to be patient for is the opportunity for an experience to share love with someone. Someone once told me that it is one of the best feelings in the world to be able to share the love you have for someone with them, and in return see the love they feel for you.
Love:
Hannah you already talked a lot about love in the section about patience. You are right, I did do that. However I talked about having Christ, who is love, in the center of your relationships. I did not talk about loving yourself.
Loving yourself is one of the key ingredients to allowing someone to love you. You might be thinking that you personally cannot control who does and does not love you. Though that may be true initially it can become awfully hard for that person to continue to love if you don't want them to.
I don't know about you, but me personally, I have a lot of un-forgiveness towards myself. Because of that somewhere inside my head I convinced myself that I did not deserve happiness. It is a bit tricky because this is not something that was in my constant thoughts 24//7. It was more like something that lingered in the back of my time...always.
I began to subconsciously intentionally sabotage situations where I had the potential to be happy. I feel like that was a very profound sentence I just made, which I honestly believe a lot of people can relate to.
Due to the fact that I did not think I deserved to be happy I began growing this irrational fear of love and relationships. As a result I began consistently pushing away any guy who would come my way with sincere interest in me. Partially because I was very afraid to let someone in and actually love every part of me, because every time I had in the past I was never good enough, or at least that is how I felt. The other part was a huge distrust I had in men, which I am sure resulted from the fact, that I just said, about every time I let down my walls and let someone in they left.
I started to feel like I was not good enough. The thing is though I am good enough. Heck, I am better than good enough. I am a prize to be won and any guy would be lucky to have me, if I allowed it. II don't say that to sound arrogant but instead I say that because I know whose daughter I am, and what kingdom I belong in.
There is a quote about the apple on the top of the tree. It is the most pure apple that anyone would love. It is so far up that most people never reach for it because they just want what is easy and accessible at the bottom of the tree. But one day, someone comes along with a ladder and is willing to make the effort to go get the top apple. That is you today, you are the top apple. You ARE worth it. The problem is if you do not love yourself you are not only viewing yourself as a bottom apple, but accepting it as well.
Peace:
Lastly, peace.When you truly dive into the Word of God, discover your worth, gain the patience to wait for what you deserve, and learn to love yourself, only then will you have true inner peace with your future.
