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The Irony Of The Triggered Conservative

Warning: the following article may be triggering for conservatives.

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The Irony Of The Triggered Conservative
Know Your Meme

It’s been a few weeks since Election Day 2016, aka the day the universe decided the Cubs winning the World Series made too many people happy and decided to correct itself. The reality that Donald Trump will be President is sinking in, and we’re already being treated to classic Trump antics. Among a million other blunders, he’s gone back on key campaign promises, brought sketchy selections like Steve Bannon and Jeff Sessions into his campaign, talked about business deals with foreign leaders and officials, settled his fraud case regarding Trump “University” for $25 million...but most of all, Donald Trump has been picking fights with the media.

In continued demonstrations of his thin skin, Donald Trump has tweeted attacks on the cast of the Broadway musical Hamilton, Alec Baldwin’s Trump impression on Saturday Night Live, and the New York Times, among others. Perhaps his most over-the-top move, however, was his off-the-record meeting with various news media executives, in which witnesses claim he eviscerated people from CNN and NBC for what he perceived as unfair coverage.

In isolation, this could easily be taken as just “Trump being Trump”--which, of course, it is. But I think it’s also a demonstration of something more, something that goes beyond the man himself. Donald Trump’s attacks on the media aren’t just evidence of his fragile ego. They’re the latest, loudest example of how conservatives are just as easily offended, if not more so, as the “PC culture” they so love to bash.

Now, blaming things on political correctness has been a favored party game amongst American conservatives for a long time. Sure, it’s developed some new dimensions in the last couple of years, like the rise of “SJW” as an epithet, the mockery of “safe spaces,” and, of course, the “trigger warning” as a target of venom. I don’t know for sure if calling liberals “triggered” is still just an alt-right thing or if it’s graduated to mainstream Republican discourse, but it’s all ultimately the same rhetoric we heard in the first half of the Clinton administration, when political correctness was a hot new buzzword. However, none of these new terms change the fundamental reality of what happens when it’s time to talk about political correctness, or any tangentially-related issue. Nine times out of ten, it’s the conservatives in the room losing their minds.

Consider, for instance, the War on Christmas, the long-running December tradition in which conservatives gather around and see who can scream the loudest about how saying “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” is ruining this country. Bill O’Reilly’s annual televised editorials on the subject are the gold standard, but it also includes things like last year’s “controversy” about Starbucks selling plain red cups with nothing on them, or those image macros on Facebook that say “Like and share if you’re not afraid to say ‘Merry Christmas!’”

This, in turn, is part of a larger perception within the Religious Right that every cultural or legal shift away from their own beliefs and prejudices is proof that Christianity is under attack in this country. This includes trying to force public school science classes to teach creationism alongside or instead of evolution, framing new laws attempting to restrict birth control access and/or LGBT rights as “protecting religious freedom,” and, of course, pro-life advocates who think Jeremiah 1:5 and Deuteronomy 30:19 are instant proof that abortion is against the will of God, nevermind that those verses don’t work as indictments of abortion in their original Biblical context.

Meanwhile, Tomi Lahren of TheBlaze has made an entire career on shouting about Black Lives Matter, Colin Kaepernick, Beyoncé’s performance at the Super Bowl, and basically anyone and everyone who speaks out about racial injustice in America. Really, it doesn’t matter who she’s talking about, because her videos all consist of her yelling about how other people need to stop whining, stop complaining, stop blaming everything on white people, pull their pants up, and get a job. The fact that Tomi herself is constantly whining and complaining about what other people do, of course, never dawns on her or the millions of people who share her videos to their Facebook walls.

And then, of course, we have the alt-right. Like its ideological older brother, the neoreactionary movement, the alt-right ultimately seeks a return to the world as it was before liberal democracy came along and introduced pesky things like “rights” and “equality” and all that other stuff. However, the alt-right was dropped on its head as a child, and therefore articulates itself in the forms of memes and shitposting, rather than flowery blog posts that go on for ages. The alt-right’s pool of members includes everyone from white nationalists and neo-Nazis to wannabe pickup artists, but the GamerGate crowd in particular cemented the movement’s obsession with calling people SJW’s, and in becoming the pet cause of 4chan for a hot minute, GamerGate paved the way for users of /pol/, 8chan, and other imageboards to flood the Internet with Trump-themed Pepes, in violation of basic principles of Pepenomics. (Seriously, how hard is it to keep rare Pepes rare and not flood the market with them?)

All meme-related economics aside, the alt-right’s obsession with triggering the PC SJW cucks in their safe spaces--ugh, I can’t believe I had to type that--is yet another example of right-wingers projecting their easily-offended nature onto their opponents. After all, we’re talking about a group whose favorite subreddit, r/The_Donald, routinely bans people for dissent or just asking questions and throws rage-tantrums whenever Reddit does anything to try and stop their entire front page from being flooded with shitposts about how Hillary Clinton literally murders all her political enemies. We’re talking about a group who was literally threatening armed revolution on November 7th, though they certainly don’t remember that now that they’re been talking about “drinking liberal tears” for the last few weeks. We’re talking about people whose argument that “You made us vote for Trump when you called us racists!” is essentially an admission that they voted not based on feeling butthurt and not their actual beliefs.

And that brings us back, finally, to the orangutan in a wig and a suit who can’t operate a slice of pizza correctly, let alone win the popular vote, but who gets to be President anyway because it’s 2016 and everything has to happen in the most bizarre, painful fashion possible this year. In hindsight, it’s easy to see how a man like Donald Trump was able to catch on with the Republican base. The GOP has spent so much time catering to the old guy yelling at the bar that it was only a matter of time before they put one on their Presidential ticket. They’ve spent so much time crying about things while calling other people crybabies that it was only natural that their nominee would one day decry political correctness on a regular basis, but be thin-skinned enough to have weekly meltdowns over their portrayal on Saturday Night Live. When I look at Donald Trump, I don’t see someone out of step with the conservative movement. I see the id of the Republican Party unleashed and personified.

If you consider yourself a conservative, Republican, and/or Trump supporter, and you’re concerned by all the things I’ve just said, then maybe it’s time to take a hard look in the mirror and ask yourself if this is really the road you want to take this country down and the man you want in the White House with access to nuclear codes and immense executive power. You could also skip all that and just call me a libtard and tell me how you’re going to love lubricating your AR-15 with my SJW tears, but let’s be honest, all that would do is prove my point.

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