You know that whole concept of “never say never?” The whole idea that whatever you say you’ll “never” do is usually (and inevitably) something you’ll always end up doing? Well, here’s mine:
About a year ago, I hated social media. I avoided it, took sabbaticals from it, judged those who over-used it, and constantly wrestled with staying away from its unavoidable tendrils.
At the time, I was in a wicked hard relationship, which caused me to be insecure about pretty much everything. I’d hit my thumb to the screen and start scrolling and the deeper I went, the deeper my heart sank. I compared myself to women I thought were “more desirable,” compared my boyfriend to men that “loved better,” compared my life to others whom I thought were happier, who had it figured out, who found love and knew how to embrace it without tripping in the holes of ugly co-dependency and selfishness.
I chalked my lack of involvement up to being “more spiritual” or “focusing on what really mattered,” instead of wasting my life staring at a screen. Really, truthfully, and honestly, I would be sick with confusion and hurt every time I pressed my screen. I didn’t know how to have a healthy mindset, how to stop constantly comparing, so I just stopped — excluded myself and pretended it was for reasons of holiness and “higher living” rather than insecurity, fear, and my dreadful, never-ending doubt.
The worst part of it was, I didn’t only exclude myself, I expected others to exclude themselves as well. I judged hard. The kind of judgment that is inexcusable, oppressive, and completely selfish. My boyfriend couldn’t be on his phone for more than five minutes without getting a look of disapproval and a sigh of disappointment. (How’s that for an encouraging girlfriend, huh?) I even judged my mom — my sweet mommy who wouldn’t and couldn’t hurt a fly and only got the apps so she could keep up with my life. She’d start scrolling, I’d start judging, I’d stopped listening.
My expectations for other’s actions were impossible to reach, completely self-focused, and, let’s get down to the root of it here: one hundred percent controlling. I created tension where it wasn’t needed and built an oppressive, constricting atmosphere for both my relationships and myself.
Crazy what a little social platform can do, huh?
Last year I started walking a new road after that relationship ended, and avoided all forms of screen socialization for other reasons all together: I refused to take the risk of running across any kind of content that would even remind me of what I was healing from.
About three months went by. Months that grew me up — literally. Mentally, physically, spiritually, relationally — all my former views, modes of operation and opinions dropped off, and what remained was absolutely nothing.
I started from scratch. I refused to go back to what I had been, and since what I had been was all I had ever known, I had no other option but to completely start over. Since then, we’ve been building. Slowly, but surely and soundly and confidently — and so far, I’m a huge fan of the outcome. (To read more about that journey, visit chelseamarieabroad.com.)
Starting from scratch gives you a lot of different possibilities — really, they’re endless. Guess which one I chose? (Here comes the irony part.)
I’m an entrepreneur. I’m a writer. I’m a product builder. I’m a CrossFit business consultant. I’m an ambassador for a nutrition company. I’m a social media strategist.
Meaning: when I’m not traveling, I’m absolutely glued to my laptop or phone, working or strategizing or planning or posting or writing or communicating. I run social media platforms for 5 different businesses. I write weekly articles, newsletters, and copy for my own platforms and several others. I jump from coffee shop to desk chair to kitchen table to living room couch to public working space and go nowhere without two chargers and a cup of coffee.
You know what? — I’m happier than I’ve ever been.
Some days, social media is my entire life. I plan and strategize and schedule and research and put it all together to see if it does what it’s supposed to. If it doesn’t, I start from the beginning and do it all over again.
I feel no form of regret or wastefulness as I plug away on my fading keyboard all day long. Actually, I feel accomplished. Helpful. Smart. Savvy. A whole bunch of other self-confidence-boosting adjectives. I’m hungry to learn the best and quickest solutions and don’t stop until I find them. I learn so much every single day. Every night I lay my head on my pillow completely convinced that it’s is going to explode because it’s so packed with information, but every morning I wake up and stuff it full some more.
I’ve found my dream and it’s more exhilarating and adrenaline pumping than my best kiss, my favorite mountain view, or my go-to, mood-boosting anthem. It’s my dream, and you know what my dream includes? A whole bunch of social media. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat: they’re smeared all over that ‘ish.
So, here’s where I stick my foot in my mouth and challenge you to keep saying you’ll never do something, you’ll never be something. Keep telling yourself — keep convincing yourself — keep swearing up and down it’ll never happen. Just be prepared when it comes knocking, because honey, it’s bound to meet you right at your doorstep, and it just might make you happier than you ever expected.
