What do you do when your mind is constantly running at a hundred miles an hour spewing out thoughts at every second? Try to turn it off, of course. Well, it's just not always that easy. This is insomnia.
Insomnia is defined as not being able to fall asleep, stay asleep, or both. It is a nightmare. A living battle between what your mind and thoughts want versus what your body is actually trying to do. Why does this have to happen to me? You are not alone. It happens to 1 out of every 4 people, causing tons of individuals in the world to suffer from getting a sufficient amount of sleep that they need to feel energized for the next day.
As long as I known, while not officially diagnosed with insomnia, I have had many nights where I have felt personally victimized by my thoughts and unable to close my eyes. What is wrong with my body? Why don't I have any friends? Who am I? Am I ever going to stop feeling alone?
---The Insomniac's Journey---
12:00 AM: "Bedtime."
12:10 AM: "Okay. I brushed my teeth and now I'm ready to go to bed."
12:20 AM: "Just close your eyes. You got this."
12:21 AM: *remembers that you need to set your alarm for tomorrow*
12:30 AM: "It's not that late, and I'm not even tired anymore. Getting on Instagram for five minutes won't hurt."
12:45 AM: "Ugh. This blanket is literally suffocating me. I have to fix it."
1:00 AM: "Okay. NOW I'm ready for bed."
1:15 AM: *starts to shuffle between Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, Pinterest, and any other app you might have on your phone*
2:00 AM: "What was the name of that one movie that had [insert actor's name here]?"
2:45 AM: *finishes googling every profound question you had on your mind and starts jamming out to music*
3:30 AM: "I'll just drink coffee before my first class, and that will help a lot."
3:45 AM: "What is wrong with me? Why am I like this?" (basically any negative self-loathing thoughts you have come out during this time or all night really)
4:00 AM: *ACTUALLY falls asleep*
The hardest part about insomnia is the fact that there is no cure. There is no magical solution to "fix" the thoughts in your brain, both superfluous and or hazardous to your mental health. For anyone out there suffering with insomnia, I just want to say that you are a beautiful soul with a lot to offer the world. I want you to go bed knowing that you are better than that bad grade on that paper, you will move on from that breakup, you are a friendly person, and that there is no else in the world as special as you.
