I am single and I feel like no one understands how I feel. Heck, I don't even know how I feel.

I love being single, but I also hate it.

I want to be in a relationship, yet I know I am not ready for one. It's a horrible dichotomy.

Coming into college, I always figured that I'd find the person I would end up with here. Two and a half years in and that has yet to happen... and it makes me nervous.

I want all the good things that come with relationships: finding someone to be around for long periods of time and not getting annoyed with them, finding someone to encourage and also encourage me through struggles, someone who I can have hours of conversation with and it feels like no time at all.

However, I don't know if I am ready to handle all the harder things: I can barely handle my struggles, let alone another person's.

I want to thrive and grow during this period in my life while still acknowledging that, yes, I do want to end up with someone.

I know what I am looking for in a future boyfriend/husband. However, I don't know if he sees what he is looking for in me. And that's what I am focused on working on.

Then that poses the question of whether I am bettering myself for me or in order to be with someone? Am I putting on a show for him, or am I genuinely changing for the better? Does it matter as long as I am a better person, or should I be more authentically myself?

Am I normal to be thinking about all of this?

Am I overthinking this?

Even if I don't like someone, I still want them to like me.

Why has no one liked me? What is wrong with me? People keep telling me "Nothing," but obviously that's false.

What if being in a relationship isn't all it's cracked up to be?

I know that I will find someone someday, and I love imagining it. However, imagining it makes it hurt even worse when I come back down to reality.

When will my next crush be?

Will that one end up being the one that's different than the ones before?

When I end up in a relationship, I bet I'll look back at this point in my life and laugh at all the worries I had.

What if I am never in a relationship? What if I am meant for singleness?

No, I know the chances of that happening are very slim.

However, it could happen.

Ehh, it'll happen "when it is supposed to happen," right? Because that's really helpful to me right now.

I'm stuck somewhere in between roaring, "I am woman! I don't need anyone!" and being lonely and feeling like I'm missing out on something great. And it's confusing. It sucks, but I know I'm not alone in feeling this way.

I'm not alone.