As we humans face loss and grief on a daily basis, it's challenging to see the good in all the change. Here's a better perspective on how we can deal with this inevitable feeling and why it could help us grow.
Loss. What a scary meaning for such a small word. Loss comes in all shapes and sizes. Just like us. Just like human beings.
A loss sends us into a spiral. An uncontrollable, spirling feeling you feel coming up your throat.
"He's gone."
"We did everything we could."
"I'm leaving."
Oftentimes, when we experience loss, we beg for the "one mores". One more hug, please. Can I have one more kiss? Just one more laugh we can share? We wish for these experiences to just happen once more as if that would ever be enough. The reality is that even if we were privileged with one more, we would want another. And another. We'd never be satisfied. We'd eventually just wish for eternity. Loss is necessary. Loss is natural. Loss is inevitable.
Loss was never defined as easy. In fact, it has to be hard. It has to be hard for us to remember. To remember those warm embraces, to remember the feeling of their lips on yours, and to remember the smile on their face when you said something funny.
But why are we so afraid of loss after all? We are so blessed to have experienced it to begin with. It means there was a presence of care. That ache in our heart and the deep pit in our stomach means there was something there to fill those vacant voids. The empty spaces were just simply whole.
We're all so afraid of change. Change in our love life or our families, change in our friendships and daily routines. One day we will remember that losing someone isn't about learning how to live without them, but to know their presence, and to carry what they left us behind. For everything we've deeply loved, we cannot lose. They become a part of us. We adapt to the way they talk, we make them a part of our Instagram passwords, we remember when they told us to cook chicken for 20 minutes instead of 30. "It will be juicier I promise".
We as humans are so lucky to meet so many people that will one day leave us. We are so lucky to have the ability and courage to suffer, to grieve, and to wish for a better ending. For that only means, we were lucky enough to love.