I will always be a firm believer in "old-fashioned" love. What happened to wooing? What happened to a guy and a girl getting together for a date and getting to know each other? What happened to calling a girl to speak to her instead of sending an endless stream of texts?
On my 20th birthday, my boyfriend mailed me a letter. A two-page letter filled with some of the simplest yet sweetest words I've ever read. A letter he mailed to me just eleven days after the day we met. I don't think I ever told him this, but that letter was my favorite gift that year. It was an act of old-fashioned romance that I 'd always dreamed of, but never was lucky enough to experience. I can't help but think, "Why isn't this common anymore?"
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Social media has really changed the dating game. Not only does it create a need for instant gratification, but it also creates a whole new set of barriers between people. Why bother making the effort to call a girl when you can just text her? Or better yet, text three girls at the same time? Why try to think on your feet and be charming in person when you can analyze your every word before sending a carefully-worded text message? And most importantly, why bother getting to know a girl when you can just look at her Facebook profile? We have movies like "The Notebook" and "Titanic" to remind us how important romance is, but few follow that lifestyle, anymore. Therefore, here are some old-fashioned dating habits we should bring back!
1. G entleman’s Etiquette: It still feels magical when you meet a man who holds the door open for you, pulls out a chair, and offers to take your coat and bag. Manners were much more prevalent a few decades ago, but that doesn't mean the man should no longer open doors for his lady. Whether you're on a first date or you've been married a few years, your man should be opening doors for you. It's polite, and shows he respects and cherishes you.We’re stuck in a culture where one-night stands and flings are totally acceptable, and it’s hard to locate someone who won’t be expecting that from you, or for you to be expected to openly talk about innately personal things because “that’s what everyone else talks about.” When was the last time you spoke about anything other than someone else’s relationship, or what someone else is doing? Have we lost the ability to have a conversation about thoughts and ideas, instead of just making commentaries on someone else’s life?
2. Dancing: Okay, hands up. Who has ever been asked to dance? I’m not talking about a casual grind under the flash of a strobe light. I am talking about slow, elegant dancing to romantic music. This seems to be completely lost. We seem to have forgotten the innocence and the mystery of a real dance with a boy, not knowing what will happen or where it will lead. And I’d take the cute option over a not-so-delicate rave where you have to side-step pools of vodka (and tears) on the dance floor any day.
3. Love Letters: Arguably, there's nothing more romantic than the idea of having something delivered and dropped through a mailbox.These old-fashioned romantic moments are too good to be lost on the modern world. And, if I’m being completely honest, I don’t want to be the girl who has to answer “So, how did you two meet?” with “Well, it all started with a swipe to the right on Tinder...”
4. Work Out Your Relationship Issues With Each Other, Not With Others: This may seem obvious, but these days it’s worth mentioning: Don’t fall into the trap of getting others on your side, because healthy relationships only have one side. Furthermore, relationships don’t always make sense, especially from the outside. So don’t let outsiders run your relationships for you. If you’re having relationship issues, work it out with them and no one else.
5. Be Fully Present When You’re In The Presence Of Others: One of the best feelings in the world is knowing your presence and absence both mean something to someone. And the only way to let your loved ones know this is to show them when you’re with them. In your relationships and interactions with others, nothing you can give is more appreciated than your sincere, focused attention: your full presence. Being with someone, listening without a clock and without anticipation of the next event, is the ultimate compliment. It is indeed the most valued gesture you can make to another human being. Your friends and family are too beautiful to ignore. So give them the gift of YOU: your time, undivided attention, and kindness. That’s better than any other gift. It won’t break or get lost, and will always be remembered.
