I realize that Father’s Day has likely drawn several articles from multiple individuals, and I want to dedicate this to my dad because of how much he has given me. Dads are oftentimes not given as much credit as they deserve and speaking from experience, I would not be the woman I am today without my dad. He has taught me so much in just nineteen years, and he continues to show me how to be a better person. This may all sound a bit cliche, but I mean this from the bottom of my heart: I could not ask for a better dad, and I would not want anyone else to take the roll from him. I am so blessed by him and his influence and he will always be a central part of my life, no matter my age.
I have always had a special relationship with my dad, but it has gotten much stronger in the past five years or so. We have definitely had our rough patches; my parents are divorced and remarried, and these transitions took a toll on my entire family. It was devastating for Dad for the first year or so, but he has grown so much since then, and I am so incredibly proud of him. He and I are very similar (sometimes I wonder if we may share a brain), and because of this, we have been able to grow in our faith and our emotional state of well being together. This is not an experience many are able to share, and I take for granted how great our relationship is. Not everyone has a loving father, and my heart aches for those individuals. I cannot imagine what my life would have been like if I did not have Dad there to guide me, and I honestly do not have adequate words to express how much I love and appreciate him.
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On the note of faith: I admittedly used to resent Dad when he dragged my brother and I to church every Sunday, but now I am so glad he did. Church was boring to me as a kid, but I later realized how much I loved going and how beneficial it has been for me. Thanks Dad, for being my father and not just my BFF. Although I did not enjoy the experience then, I greatly appreciate it now. Dad has had the concept of parenting down for as long as I can remember. He has explained to me the importance of being a parent and instead of just being a friend to your child. When acting as a friend, parents feel guilty about punishing their kids and they oftentimes give in to demands and tantrums to make them happy. I do not judge anyone for doing this. I have no kids of my own, but I understand how difficult it is to discipline someone you love.
Dad is a fantastic teacher; he takes the time to explain tough topics and really talk about things that are bothering me or that I do not understand. I may tease him about his in-depth explanations, but I do appreciate the effort he takes to make sure I and my other siblings truly understand something. Since we are usually on the same wavelength, Dad knows when something is up with me, and vice versa. He does not believe me when I say “nothing” in response to his queries, and he has no idea how much this means to me. Him pressing for the true issue would likely annoy some people, but in my world this is how I know that others actually care about me.
Whenever I am upset and someone asks me what the problem is, I give them my “nothing” line in order to test their motivations. If the person immediately drops it and moves on, I generally feel as if they did not truly care about my feelings. If the person presses, knowing something is bothering me, I see that they care enough about me to get into my personal business and possibly irritate me. This is what Dad has always done with me, and unless it is something very upsetting and difficult to discuss, I end up spilling the details because I can sense that he really wants to know what’s up.
Like me, Dad is a pretty emotional person. I used to tease him for this (sorry Dad), but as I got older I started to understand why he reacted so strongly to seemingly trivial things. I now cry during the same movies, feel heartbroken over the same issues, and love people in the same way. Contrary to male stereotypes, it is not unmanly to cry. If you are a guy, and something tears you up to the point you feel like crying, do not feel ashamed of these feelings. Everyone gets upset, everyone feels sorrow at some point, and it is perfectly normal to express emotion. I appreciate that Dad can cry in front of people without feeling like he has to hide his tears and because of his example, I can do the same. He and I are simply strong feelers; we feel what other people feel as if it were happening to us and this allows us to relate to those individuals and offer comfort and counsel.
Dad wants what is best for me, and I cannot tell him how much I appreciate his support and love throughout my life. When I eventually date a guy and get married, I want him to be exactly like Dad. He exhibits the qualities I want in a husband; he checks on me every week to see how I am doing, he takes care of my car, he is there whenever I need to talk, he shares hilarious moments with me at least once a week, and he encourages my love for Jesus Christ. Dads are important because they set an example for their kids. For boys, dads model what kind of man their son will grow up to become. For girls, dads set the bar for any boys and men their daughters will eventually date and marry. To my own dad, thank you for being my role model, my parent, my friend when appropriate and for setting the bar so high. I hope you know how much I love you.
