The oh-so-romantic phrase, “You are my other half.” has given many people the false impression that we are mere halves that meet, fall in love and make a whole. That is not, or should not, be the case. Depending one someone else to make you feel whole is dangerous. Not necessarily because they are not your soulmate and definitely not to say that your relationship is finite, but because if something changes in your relationship in terms of distance, time restrictions or the like, how will it affect your peace of mind? Will you pack your bags and run? Will you feel neglected and seek comfort in someone else who is readily available? Or, will you feel secure enough in yourself and your significant other to grind, embrace the concept of reciprocity, have fun and live your life? I hope you would choose the ladder.

It’s so important to work overtime in the self-love department even if/when you have found “the one.” Not only for the formerly mentioned reasons, but because it is the right thing to do for the person you love. We all want to be the best versions of ourselves for our significant others so it is so important for us to remember that we cannot pour from an empty cup. We cannot give our best selves if we are not at our best.

Include each other in your plans and do not keep secrets, but have a piece of your life that is just for you. There might be a time where he needs some time to himself and vice versa, and that should not leave either of you feeling displaced. After all, we are still people and as people, we long for social relationships (most of the time anyway). Do not begin to neglect your friends because you found a man or behave as if you are some friendless, antisocial creature. It doesn’t have to be the case, and if the person loves you, they won’t want that to be your reality. Life is all about balance.