When I was younger, I was a huge perfectionist. I strived to make perfect scores on tests and quizzes, to get along with absolutely everyone, and to be the best horseback rider I could be. I wanted the *best* and would not settle for anything less. And if I did not meet these extravagant goals of mine, I would beat myself up over it. In my head, anything less than perfect had meant that I failed.
As I got older though, I realized that perfection is not as attainable as I once thought. In elementary school and early in middle school, I thought perfection was attainable, which is why I brutally beat myself up over not reaching it. Many years went by before I came to terms with the truth that perfection is unattainable. As humans, we are not meant to live "perfect" lives, because we aren't perfect people.
In all honesty, I still occasionally struggle with the lust for perfection. I've more recently come to terms with the fact that I used to be content in settling for the mere appearance of perfection. I settled for believing that if everyone else thought I was thriving, then I could be content with that, even if internally I struggled to keep up with all the commitments I drowned myself in.
In the past year, I learned that not only is perfection in itself unattainable, but also that the illusion of perfection, like the one I tried to manifest of my own life to others, is just as unreal. Technology has allowed the world to be connected more than it has ever been before, which therefore allows us to see more of other people's lives. And I love it. Social media definitely has it's harped upon cons, but if used beneficially, it can be fun. I love keeping up with my friends at other colleges and my distant family members.
But of course, no one is sharing all their life's imperfections. Social media is a continuous stream of amazing moments. People are sharing their favorite experiences and pictures with the world. Yet as normal living people, we all have imperfect moments. Perfection is an illusion. No one has it all together, and that is perfectly fine.
A bunch of freedom comes with being content in imperfection. At least for me, it felt like a weight was taken off of my shoulders. If we stop expecting perfection out of ourselves, we will be a whole lot happier. And if we stop believing in the portrayed illusion of perfection in other people's lives, we will be a whole lot happier, too.
My closest friendships this past year formed from sharing some of my imperfectness with others. Life has a pattern to it, and all of the things you may be going through have been encountered before in someone else's life. I have learned that many of us struggle with very similar circumstances, and it's nice to know that you aren't alone.
For example, I did not enjoy my first semester of college. I went through a bunch of life changes, and for a hot second, I felt like no one truly understood what I was feeling. Drifting from familiar people and a familiar routine took a toll on me. I thought that keeping up an illusion of perfection was the only way to cope, as everyone else seemed to be living their best life.
I saw so many fun pictures of my friends on Instagram and Snapchat and compared my situation to theirs. A part of me didn't believe I would ever be joyful in college. But one night I was very tired and stressed and opened up to someone who is now one of my closest friends. After telling her what I was thinking about college and life, she was so excited to tell me that she was struggling with the exact same thing. And we instantly bonded over a shared imperfect circumstance.
No one is perfect, which is such a cliché to say, but it's so true. What we see and what we hear is not always the full story. People are imperfect, and no one has their life completely together. Life is complex, and it's always changing, so there's no need to fall for the illusion of someone else's perfect life, or trying to create the illusion of perfection of your own.
There is a whole bunch of happiness in imperfection, messing up, and growth. Because if you aren't growing, you are staying the same.
