I know that one of my resolutions this year was to be less angry, but I can't get over something. This article, for all intents and purposes, is an angry rant. I'm going to stay rational and thoughtful throughout, but this is still a topic that I am very angry about. Just a warning.
OK.
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I was recently having a discussion with some people I knew (I'm not going to name anyone), and we got onto the topic of Facebook and other social media platforms. One person (who was older) starting criticizing me, and others, for "liking" certain things on Facebook. "You're liking offensive things, and then they show up on our news feeds, for the whole world to see," he said. "People who don't know you are going to have an unfavorable opinion of you."
I'm going to say it right here: That's a good point. What isn't right, however, is that when I would try and offer a rebuttal, he would interrupt me and make another, lesser point, and then someone else would jump in and I would be left defenseless. It also quickly made the discussion turn into a heated debate, which wasn't necessarily a help.
That's not what I'm mad about, however.
I'm angry, because that very same person posted offensive memes of Caitlyn Jenner back when that was popular, and when I called him out on it, he basically shrugged it off and said that was different. At that point, I was so angry that I got up and left, but not before I heard someone else say, "He's old, he's allowed to be ignorant."
A couple things about that comment: a) It was probably meant as a joke, and b) in all other instances, I wouldn't care. But I feel like I should say something about it.
Old age doesn't give you the luxury of ignorance. There are young people who are very judgmental and uncaring of others, and there are old people who understand that the world is changing, and with a new world come new ideas, and vice-versa. You do not get a free pass for saying something racist or homophobic because "that's how it was when I was your age." The world doesn't slow down for anyone, no matter your age.
Another thing old age doesn't (or, at least, shouldn't) grant you is respect. If you treat me with respect, regardless of age, I will treat you kindly. There's a reason that was the first thing we learned in kindergarten. If he had admitted that there was a problem with him telling me what I can and cannot do on my social media, while he was doing the same thing, I wouldn't have been so angry. We could have kept the discussion going, and maybe we both would have learned something.
But instead, he not only denied it, he continued to joke about it. He knew, from past arguments, that it hurt me when he made these jokes (regardless of my status as a straight, white male), and he chose to do it anyway. That is not only ignorant, but it is completely disrespectful of my feelings.
Ignorance really isn't about being right. I believe that when you choose to be ignorant, you choose not to look at or respect the other side of things. I think that ignorance is knowing deep down that you are wrong, but not wanting to find out why or what's right. When you choose to do that, you choose to blind yourself.
I'm not expecting an apology. I don't think I'd get one if I asked. But, as Louis C.K. once said, "When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't." I'm going to keep that in mind whenever I'm liking something on Facebook, and I hope that whoever is reading this will keep that in mind, too.
