I've briefly touched on the topic of confidence before. I've talked about how important it is for everyone to have confidence in themselves and to love themselves, which I think go hand in hand. I've talked about my own insecurities in the past and my own confidence but I never really quite touched on the journey to confidence.

As I've said previously, I wasn't always confident in myself. I didn't exactly love myself when I looked in the mirror. I cared more about what other people, meaning guys, thought of me rather than caring for my own happiness. I cared about their comments on my pictures, I cared about the likes on Instagram and Twitter, and I cared about always having someone to tell me how pretty I was or how much they liked a feature of mine. For some reason, I believed that the key to happiness was being liked by every single guy and having the most likes/comments on my pictures. That was it for me. Social media and the way others perceived me was my confidence booster. It wasn't until my junior year of high school that I came to the realization that I wasn't really a confident person.

I decided to change when I met an author who gave me some very interesting advice. She was a tall woman, with black short hair, and she had this radiance of confidence. I could feel it as soon as she walked up to the counter, as soon as she spoke the first word I could hear it. I wanted that. I wanted other people to feel my confidence. Somehow we got into the conversation about confidence and she gave me a few tips before inviting me to her lecture later that week. Being the nice person that I am, I want to share these tips with you all. Confidence really is key, it changed me for the better.

1. Body language

It all starts with body language. It's weird... But it actually helps. The taller you stand, the higher your hold your head, and the more you look at others in the eye when interacting then the more confident you'll appear as well as feel. Ok don't go around walking with your nose straight up in the air, but bring your shoulders back more when you walk. Stand up taller and straighter, not uncomfortably straight, and look at people in the eye. The author told me this first, "Look them in the eye when you speak or when they speak, look them straight in the eye. It'll make them feel intimidated by you." I found this was right.

2. Dress

We all feel better when we dress better. We feel more confident in ourselves. Don't be afraid to explore new styles and show your own personality through your clothes and your accessories. Dress in clothes that you personally like, clothes that you're comfortable wearing, and make sure you own it. You want to wear a tutu? THAT'S ALL YOU BOO ROCK THAT TUTU.

Now I don't recommend that if you're trying to appear confident in your workplace or in a meeting or something, but in general if you like tutus then go for it.

3. Speak up

I have always had a pretty loud voice. I learned how to project my voice when I took singing classes so I knew how to speak loudly and to make my voice heard, I just chose not to most of the time. I liked being quiet and in the back. I didn't want to say anything wrong or "stupid." Then I realized, I don't care!

I learned to laugh at myself. I learned that it's okay to make mistakes and to shout out a wrong answer because no one has to be right all of the time. No one actually is always right most of the time anyway. If you want to appear/feel more confident then speak up, make sure your voice is heard. Talk with a firm voice, talk with a loud voice and talk with a steady voice. Singing actually taught me how to do all of this with my voice.

4. Think positive

If you wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and pick at everything that you hate about yourself then you're going to wake up in a pretty sh*tty mood. Pick things that you like about yourself: your eyes, your nose, your smile, the way your hair is just so great, anything. It's extremely important that every morning you wake up like Beyonce and tell yourself you're awesome, you look great, and you're the sh*t.

This tip probably gets tiring to hear because I didn't like hearing it myself. I thought, "What's the point of standing in the mirror every morning and telling myself that I like myself when later I'm just gonna rip myself apart?" I'm not saying every morning make it a thing to stand in the mirror and say "I love myself." If you don't think it'll help, my advice would be to try it a few times and see. If you still think it won't help, then don't do it. But if you're not gonna stand in the mirror and tell yourself things you love about yourself, then why would you stand there and complain about things you hate about yourself? At least one comment a day. Tell yourself one positive comment a day.

"I wake up looking this good, and I wouldn't change it if I could. And you can say what you want, I'm the sh*t". - Beyonce

5. Accept yourself

This one is hard. It's hard not to go on Instagram and Twitter and see all of these different Instagram models getting all these likes on their pictures and all these comments and blah blah blah. I mean, they're everywhere. Being flawless. Which makes you feel LESS flawless because you're not them. You don't have skin like them. You don't have a life like them. You don't have a butt and boobs like them. You don't have lips like them.

It's hard. I know. It's a part I struggled with the worst. I always wanted to look like someone else, never myself. Then I realized that I can't look like that. One hundred percent of the time, they don't even look like that. Filters, camera apps, lighting, Photoshop, etc. A lot goes into a photo for Instagram models because they have to look flawless in order to sell you stuff you don't need.

It took some time but I realized that I will never look like that. I will always look like myself and spending my life trying to look like them or tearing myself down because I don't have features like them won't help me look like them. You learn to love your own skin because it's the one you have for your whole life. The ultimate level of confidence and beauty is being comfortable in your own skin, loving your own body, and owning every second of it.

Now, don't get it twisted. There's a difference between being confident and just being arrogant. Know your own worth, love yourself for who you are and what you look like, and know that you're valuable and can bring a lot to the table whether it's in a friendship, relationship, or job opportunity.