The honeymoon phase of a relationship always seems like the best. The newness is so, well for lack of a better term, new. It's when you're overly obsessed with your partner and nothing about them annoys you. It's when they seem perfect in every way. It's when there aren't little fights. There's just blissful togetherness.
Yeah, sure, the honeymoon phase is fun. But it's not truly reality. And after some thought, I've decided on a phase I like a lot better.
I call this the comfort phase.
You've been with your partner for months now. You know all their quirks. All the things about them that drive you insane. You've experienced intimacy. You've experienced fights. You've experienced what a real relationship is like.
Whether anyone actually admits it, relationships kind of suck. I tell this to all of my single friends. Of course, like anything, relationships have their positive and negative sides. But the actual effort it takes to be in a healthy, stable, fulfilling relationship is overwhelming.
-It's crying over the stress of not seeing your partner every day.
-It's long car rides so you can spend the night with them.
-It's sacrifices to your time, energy, and friendships.
-It's being confrontational when something just isn't right or something bothers you.
-It's being vulnerable all the damn time.
-It's giving someone your heart and hoping like hell they don't break it.
-It's being the over-emotional one who is so overly in love that they come off as crazy.
-It's thinking of your partner first, and sometimes putting your needs second.
-It's writing long ass messages when you know you've screwed up.
-It's texting them so you can cuddle and talk because you know they can't stay mad at you if you're in their arms.
-It's biting your tongue when you just want to punch them because they irritate the hell out of you sometimes.
-It's holding back your tears because they can't always be there for you.
-It's understanding their boundaries and accepting them for who they are.
-It's laying in bed at night wanting them to be right next to you but realizing that's not reality right now.
-It's praying for the future but also knowing shit happens and they may not always be yours.
-It's trying to get them to let you into their world when they have high walls up. And then getting frustrated when they won't let you in or answer your damn questions.
-It's accepting that no matter how hard you try you two will never be perfect. But you know in your heart, you two are worth it. It's wanting to run away out of fear, but knowing it doesn't get any better than this.
-It's stressing out over not receiving texts back when they just don't feel like being on their phone or are too busy to respond.
But you know... it's also a lot of positive things...
-Like knowing that you have someone on your side at all times.
-Having someone to hold you when you cry or just need to be held.
-Having someone to talk to, who at least tries to understand you.
-It's having someone who can look at you and reassure you that you don't have any flaws. Though you both know you do.
-It's having someone who will reassure you that you're "fucking gorgeous" when you feel like the ugliest person alive.
-It's having someone who helps you grow, whether it be in maturity or in patience.
-It's having someone to hold your hand through the ups and downs.
-It's having someone who'll listen to the things that bother you and let you rant.
-It's stepping back and realizing your life wouldn't be the same without them.
-It's chilling in comfy clothes with messy hair and not caring one bit.
-It's singing your favorite songs while looking into their eyes (or rocking out in bed while you cuddle).
-It's loving the person you're looking at, no matter how they look.
-It's falling for someone's personality and quirks, not just their looks.
-It's cherishing the limited time you have with them because time truly is precious.
-It's fighting for them when they don't have the strength to fight for themselves.
-It's living your life with them in mind, because your life wouldn't feel complete without them.
-It's meeting their family and praying to god they accept you into it.
-It's finding someone who loves you as-is. They know everything about you, and they deal with your shit on the daily, but they still choose to stay.
It's so much more than the honeymoon phase. It's so much more meaningful because you know it's real when the comfort phase sets in.
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1. The Freshmen 15? It's real.
WARNING: The buffet style campus dining spots are a TRAP. If you're eating and out drinking on the weekends, it is EXTREMELY LIKELY that you're going to gain a little bit of weight. Gaining weight isn't really a bad thing, but staying healthy is definitely important. Take a walk or a run to even out that junk food intake, but feel free to sneak that late night five-cheese panini at 1AM.
2. Make friends with some of your floormates.
Your first year of college is arguably the most memorable time of your college life. You live with your floormates for two semesters, and you see them in the hall all the time. Make it a point to say "what's up", it'll definitely make your year more fun.
3. College is hard. Don't sell yourself short.
Higher education. It's not high school, your professors are a little less prominent than your HS teachers. This being said, you are responsible for your own eucation. It's a little hard having all this freedom and responsibility for (probably) the first time in your life, but it's important to realize that it's a little harder because you're sort of on your own.
4. You don't HAVE to have sex to "get it over with".
This is IMPORTANT. Deciding to have sex when you get to college? Cool. Deciding you want to wait? Awesome. Having sex because you just want to get it over with? Hm, think about that. Your decision is your decision, but if you're iffy about entering the "college hook-up culture", PLEASE really think about how important it is for you to have sex.
5. Be careful who you hook up with and who you open up to.
As I said earlier: beware of the infamous "college hook-up culture". IMO, it's a chance for college guys or gals to lead the other on (the majority of the time). It's not possible to control your feelings, but it's possible to cut a hook-up off/talk about how you feel. Better for you in the long run, trust me.
6. Work around scheduling a class before 12PM.
You might have the idea that, "Oh, I got up at 8AM in high school. I can do it again." No. No, you can't. I have very little explanation for this. You'll enjoy the extra sleep. If you don't believe me, schedule a morning class, and see how you feel.
7. Dress how you want to dress.
You wanna dress up? Slap on some make up, put on some heels, and head to your lecture. You were up late last night? Roll out of bed in what you fell asleep in last night. The good thing about college? You realize that no one is really focused on you, so it's a good time to just "do you" and rock it.
8. The drinking every chance you get? Not healthy. Stop that.
9. When you DO go out, be safe.
Check your drink, make sure you're pacing yourself, don't wander home by yourself, etc. The essentials.
10. Spend your money frugally.
Living the ramen/ easy-mac life is a real thing. There's a reason why it's a college student's go-to: it's easy to make, and it's cheap as heck. It's important to practice money saving tips- even though it seems almost impossible.
11. Those events your RA hosts? Go to them. Some of them are awesome, some offer free food.
As a poor college student, the word free resonates in all of our ears. RA events are not only a gateway to free food, but are also a way to meet more people on your floor/ in your building.
12. It's not all about school- enjoy yourself.
College is a new time in your life where you're working towards your future, but it's also a time where you meet people and have experiences like no other. Let yourself breathe sometimes, and just enjoy this experience.
What about combined income from two minimum-wage workers? Wouldn't that put them above the poverty line? In a nuclear family with two working parents and two children, their combined yearly wage would be about $30,160. That's only $7,846 above the poverty line. Now, let's take into account rent, food, gas, utilities, car insurance, health insurance, school supplies, clothes, and tuition. Try and see how $30,160 would cover all those expenses in a year – it doesn't. The minimum wage is not a living wage.
The minimum wage is not a living wage.
StableDiffusion
Here are some myths that I would like to present and debunk:
Raising the minimum wage will kill jobs. This is false. In a March 2011 report, the Center for Economic and Policy Research concluded that raising the minimum wage would not only help workers but actually have the possibility of increasing job openings. Better pay leads people to spend more money, and the cycle repeats.
"Nobody living in one of the most influential nations in the world should be worried about making ends meet."
influential nations
StableDiffusion
On June 2, 2014 , Seattle changed the city's minimum wage to $15 dollars. Following that procedure, unemployment decreased 17.46 percent – falling from a previous 6.3 percent to 5.2 percent.
Raising the minimum wage will hurt small business. Not only has a higher minimum wage worked in cities across the United States, but a 2006 study by the Center for American Progress and Policy Matters compared small business performances and found that the small businesses who paid the higher wages were more profitable.
Mostly teenagers work minimum-wage jobs. Again, this is false. Half of minimum-wage workers are 25 years old or older. Most minimum-wage workers support their family on this income – and 28 percent of these individuals have children.
Raising the minimum wadge
The minimum wage is not sufficient to uphold and support an individual, especially individuals with families. I've often heard: "It isn't fair that someone working in a fast food restaurant will get paid the same as a college professional!" If we raise the minimum wage to, let’s say, $11 an hour, it would still be a lower amount than that of a college professional. Even so, someone not having a college degree doesn't make their worth any less valuable. Nobody deserves to live in poverty. Nobody living in one of the most influential nations in the world should be worried about making ends meet. We are a nation of equality and opportunity – it's time to let some of that opportunity flow.
What is the current minimum wage at the federal level?
Federal minimum wage is currently $7.25 per hour. Many states also have minimum wage laws, and the employee is entitled to the higher of the two minimum wages. (U.S. Dept. of Labor)
What are the benefits of raising the minimum wage?
A higher minimum wage means less workers living below the poverty line, more workers being able to make ends meet and potentially spend beyond that, and workers would be more productive upon the increase.
What are the states that have set a $15/hour minimum wage?
California is at $15.50 per hour, Washington is at $15.74, and Massachusetts is at $15. These are the only states to have a $15 minimum wage as of Jan. 1, 2023. (The Economic Policy Institute Tracker)
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