Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Thanksgiving, New Year's, and every other holiday are seen as a time filled with food, fun, and family time. And for me, it is certainly filled with the latter two! But the "food" aspect is a little different.

That's because sadly, I can't eat the meals these holidays present. I have a paralyzed stomach — a condition known as Gastroparesis — and eat through a feeding tube. I've spent two years relying on my feeding tube for nourishment. I can eat and drink certain things — mainly potatoes and soda. That kind of takes the fun out of my Christmas dinner, right?

I have to turn down a LOT of food and drink, and I don't think I'll ever get over the awkwardness that that entails. It's just my mom, my sister, and me, and thankfully they understand. But this year, I've been branching out. I've met new people, am going to new places with new traditions. But with this social self-growth, I've had to decline more food/drink offers than I can count.

I don't have a set way of getting through the holidays on a feeding tube and I don't really have any tips. But I can certainly share perspective from my side of the table.

What gets me is when people assume I'm being rude. Yes, I know you worked on those cookies for four hours last night. I know you've been baking Thanksgiving dinner for two days. I appreciate your efforts. I really do, and it means a lot to me that you are going through the trouble to try to include me. However, that does not mean my stomach is going to tolerate that food.

I don't have a choice.

I don't think many people realize how tempting it is to just sit down and gobble up a piece of the pie, or even have a glass of water. And, to be honest, I have eaten a lot of Christmas cookies and pie, as well as water, despite getting severely ill and having to come home. It's very hard to turn down all the delicious offers.

I've learned to bring mashed potatoes with me to every dinner I attend. I've even made mashed potatoes, put them in a bag with a spoon, and eaten them at a movie theater.

It's just a very weird experience, having your body reject most food and drink. I guess you learn how to best manage this through trial and error.

Many social events in college are focused on food. Ice cream socials are especially hard — no one loves ice cream more than me.

I guess that, what I'm saying is, we need to be more open about both physical and mental disabilities that may make eating hard or almost impossible. We need to be more understanding. We can do better. Even if it's a big holiday meal, there's always a valid reason for someone saying "no" to whatever delicacy you worked hard on. They probably aren't being rude, they just need your grace and support.