We mostly look forward to the holidays. That time when you get together with friends and family and talk about the things your have accomplished that year. And talk about the memories that you had years prior living up to that. but for some people its just not that simple. Not all of us have that good experience around the holidays whether that be family that is no longer with us around the holidays. Or those people that never really had a good positive holiday experience. Its important to remember that not all foster kids have the greatest experience when it comes to holidays. Some kids might not get anything because foster parents feel its not there job to spend the money they receive on you for holiday gifts. Or maybe you were a foster kid who never ever had a holiday as a child. Holidays can be hard times for some people and especially foster kids. I was walking in the Mall last week. And if you have been to the mall close to where I live you go in and a instant atmosphere of excitement and cheer is throw at you when the doors open. I was trying to kill some time before a movie. So I walked in and saw the kids lining up to tell Santa what they wanted for Christmas. And saw the Giant Christmas tree and Christmas decorations galore. It was all a little bit of overwhelming when I first walked in. But I held my head high and put on my best fake smile and walked in like I had somewhere to go for the holidays I mean somewhere I would really be part of a family. I started walking around and for those that know me I am pretty quiet, but I am always listening. Listening to what's going on around me. It started that way for me at a young age you see. I used to be locked into my bedroom as a kid and listening for footsteps or plans about me that were being said helped mentally prepare myself. Or the nights that my adoptive father would unlock the door and take me to his room to molest me listening for the footsteps approach and fade after his pleasure was satisfied. So I grew my sense of listening during that time. So I would know when the right time was to run away or break out of my room to use the bathroom. Or know what my adoptive mother was scheming about to control more of my life.
Anyway during my time walking around the mall being observant. You could catch bits and pieces of peoples conversations. The things they were looking forward to this holiday season. Or things they were going to eat. The people they were going to see. And as somebody who doesn't have all that as a foster kid or somebody who never found a forever home. Its sad and hard as each day gets closer knowing they on Thanksgiving or Christmas you picture in your head them at there homes enjoying a nice meal and sharing the love and warmth of the season. While I have been asked by multiple people what I am doing this holiday or offering for me to come to their house. And I appreciate it. But its important for people not only think about me. There is lots of people like me out in world. Lots of foster kids are spending the holidays alone this year. I made the decision to spend this Thanksgiving alone to prove a point. And help people understand some of challenges we face that are not being talked about. I am super thankful for a gentleman that works for a radio station that I did a interview with and inviting me over on a day other then thanksgiving to have a turkey ect. To me that means the world. So thanks Clay from WBAT for inviting me. You see its different in those types of scenarios for me. He took the time to invite me not with all his family and friends but with just him and his gf. To spend time playing games and hanging out. Our own little get together. To me that's what spoke volumes. Some foster kids its overwhelming to be around a bunch of people that you don't know and feel like the third wheel it can be super overwhelming for kids, who go from no holidays to being thrown into a enviroment with lots of people.
We should be more aware as it becomes holiday time for those around us and the people that are out and about. Especially foster kids some kids have never received gifts before. What can you do to help them? Go to "Hope for the holidays Children's Bureau" and click on to look at all the kids that want gifts this year. YOU CAN PICK A CHILD to buy a christmas gift for. And your showing them that somebody cares about them! And loves them! I always encourage when you pick a kid off that list you write them a note and place it in a pocket of a jacket or somewhere they will find it. and it will be a surprise for them! And they can truly feel the love that you have. Alot of kids feel like people are just getting paid to take care of them. And so you buying them gifts and including a personal note. Telling them how special they are is going to mean the world to them!
Holidays are tough for kids without people in their life they feel they can count on. Last holidays was my hardest holiday so far going thru. And as each day gets closer to the holidays its important to remember those in the community that are alone this year. Send them a message telling them you are thinking about them! On the holidays. I know its hard to do. So many friend and family and plans and cooking to get prepared for. But foster kids are over here making plans to see movies in theaters because they don't want to be alone this holiday season.
Thank You
Matt Peiffer
Foster Child and Child Abuse Advocate
YOU MATTER TO ME!
www.avoiceforkids.com
