If you are with someone in the military, your loved one travels, or they are no longer here there are 8 Things that you go through during the holidays.
1. You wish they were there to share the holiday experience.
During the holidays I do various things that every time I do them I wish he was there to share the experience. When I go ice skating I want him to be there holding my hand and falling down because I dragged him down with me. I want to cuddle on the couch while sipping hot chocolate and watching Christmas movies *cough* Barbie: in the Nutcracker *cough*. When I sit down with my family at Thanksgiving I want to be sitting next to him and just share that experience with him. I want to wrap presents with him and wake up super early just to exchange presents and open them together. What are the holidays when the one guy I want to share it with isn't there?
2. There just seems to be something missing.
You can be surrounded by all of your family but you just feel melancholy no matter what. There is always something that reminds you they're not there with you. Something will happen and you'll turn to them wanting to laugh about it or share it with them forgetting that they're not there. Whatever you do you can't help but think they should be there, that without them it isn't right or it just feels incomplete.
3. You keep yourself even busier than usual
Idleness is your enemy. You have to keep yourself busy doing something even if it's just sleeping because if you stop and relax that melancholy will rush at you and you will spend the rest of the day looking at pictures of them and re-reading the texts ya'll exchanged. And that will soon lead you to miss them and next you thing you know you are crying over a Ben and Jerry's ice cream (Chunky Monkey or Pistachio are my to go to flavors) while staring at pictures of ya'll together.
4. You stare at other couples in jealousy and annoyance...and of course some sadness.
Like how dare they be happy! Just kidding...kind of. You can't help it really you just get this surge of jealousy every time you see a couple being all lovey dovey. You remember all the times you were that way with your significant other and you start to miss the little things ya'll did, such as nuzzling each other noses or getting into tickle wars. And sadly you get annoyed. Again you don't mean to be, but every time you see them just being a couple you get annoyed by their constant kissing and cuteness because gosh darn it that should be you! And well I am sure you can understand the sadness.
5. Songs like a Blue Christmas speak to your Soul!
In a way they kind of help you through your emotions and make you feel less lonely because here is a song that perfectly describes how I am feeling! Yet, on the other hand, it really just makes it hit home that they're not there. They're a necessary therapeutic hell sometimes.
6. It gets kind of hard to get in a holiday mood.
No matter how much you try the Holiday spirit just doesn't seem to stick. You try, you honestly do, but that wave of sadness just hits you and *sigh* lose that cheer. But you'll smile and pretend like you are okay, because it's the holidays and you don't want to ruin it for anyone else.
7. You may start trying to avoid doing anything Holidayish or even begin to hate the holidays.
Yes, I know that isn't a real word, but the statement stands. Suddenly, you don't want to go caroling like you do every year or go ice skating or find a Christmas tree. They just don't seem as special or as fun anymore. You can even start getting bitter and hate the holidays and all they stand for or even the traditions. It is not rational and it can be petty, but you don't care. Especially if you don't have anyone else to share it with.
8. Now more than ever do you count the days when they'll come home!
You are counting every second, minute, hour, and day till they come home. The calendar can be your lifeline and every day you mark off is like a battle won. Marking the days off or having a countdown can bring you hope and a bit of joy during the holidays. Because you know they're coming home! They will be there with you and soon you'll be that disgusting couple or you'll be able to cuddle with them and do some traditions or make new ones.
The holidays are a rollercoaster no matter what, but some holidays are harder than others.
