According to The Parent Resource Program, suicide is the second leading cause of death for ages 10 to 24 and is predominantly prominent within the teenage years. More teenagers and young adults die from suicide than cancer, heart disease, AIDS, birth defects, influenza combined. To put this into perspective, each day in our nation, there is an average of 5,240 attempts of suicide by teenagers in grades seven through 12. Four out of five teens who attempt suicide demonstrate clear warning signs but are neglected because suicide is one of those “taboo” topics our culture has been conditioned to stigmatize. Teen suicide is growing at an alarming rate with many attributing factors such as mental illnesses, home environment, and the silent-but-deadliest killer of them all: social media.
*Spoiler Alert*
I recently finished watching the newest Netflix original show, based on the book by Jay Asher, "13 Reasons Why," and I cannot stress enough the importance of its many themes. Both the novel and, now, TV show narrate a notorious sweet boy, Clay Jensen, as he discovers a set of cassette tapes recorded by Hannah Baker--his classmate and crush--who committed suicide just two weeks earlier. Hannah records her thirteen reasons why she decided to end her life, each containing a name of a past friend or peer contributor. Through Hannah and Clay’s narratives, the compelling story line showcases multiple taboo topics, such as rape, slut-shaming, and cyberbullying, that have the power to contribute to teenage suicide.
Rape, slut-shaming, and teenage suicide are topics that no one wants to talk about, but need to because they happen, and are happening at an alarming rate. Social media has consumed our generation uncontrollably, giving rise to the detrimental effects of cyberbullying. Hannah’s internal battle began when the picture of her was spread via social media and text messaging, something that is emphasized within the teenage years. With wider access to computers and other devices that go online, cyberbullying has exponentially grown in popularity whereas physical bullying has decreased.
According to NoBullying.com, 25 percent of teenagers have reported that they have experienced repeated bullying via cell phone or the internet, 52 percent of young people report being cyberbullied, and 95 percent of teens that witnessed bullying on social media report that others, like them, have ignored the behavior. Cyberbullying is a concept that is hard for parents and older generations to understand, as they had limited to no access to technology when they were youths. This makes it very hard for children to closely relate and feel comfortable enough opening up about it. Often times, kids who are being cyberbullied won’t oblige to opening up simply out of fear that parents will not understand, which is also often times true.
The picture that was virally spread of Hannah led to peers objectifying her. Slut-shaming is the experience of being labeled a sexually out-of-control woman and publicly punished for possessing this identity. Whether real or imagined, slut-shaming is sexist as boys and men are congratulated for the same behavior. Boys will be boys, and girls will be sluts, right? Wrong.
Slut-shaming is traumatic and can lead to depression and suicide. In 2012, a 15-year-old Staten Island teenager, Felicia Garcia, ended her life because she was the target of bullying and slut-shaming. Rehtaeh Parsons, a 17-year-old, took her life after being gang-raped and labeled a “slut” afterward. Another Netflix original, “Audrie and Daisy,” tells the story of a teen suicide largely due to the detrimental effects of being slut-shamed after she was raped.
Episode 9 exemplifies the bystander effect that is demonstrated by both Justin and Hannah. Jess is not “sexually taken advantage of;” she is raped. There is no point in calling it anything other than what it is just for the light-hearted. The bystander effect describes situations in which an individual or group of bystanders witness harm being done, yet do nothing to help or stop the harmful activity.
According to the U.S. Department of Justice, a bystander is present at 70 percent of assaults. You say that you would step in to stop any harm being done to someone, but it is easier said than done. Stepping up and saying something requires an authentic, bold bravery that many people lack under those circumstances. Hannah hides in the room while Bryce is raping Jess, without interfering out of fear. Justin allows Bryce to “have his way” with Jess in fear of breaking “bro code.” The bystander in any harmful situation is equally responsible for the harm done as the predator.
The show graphically shows the mental and physical pain that Hannah is undergoing due to a combination of cyberbullying, slut-shaming, and sexual assault. Brian Yorkey, executive producer, explains in a documentary, "13 Reasons Why: Beyond the Reasons," that they had no intentions of sugar-coating anything because they wanted to pay tribute to those individuals whose lives have been negatively impacted by the same concepts. Episode 12 focuses its attention on rape and sexual assault and its permanently damaging effects on the victim’s life. Sexual assault and rape predominantly occur between acquaintances and like Bryce, many predators are not the obvious suspect. Bryce’s character is comprised of a popular high school jock whose dominance overpowers his peers.
Think back to when you were in high school, I guarantee you are picturing the Bryce of your graduating class. However, these type of Bryces--unsuspected predators--exist on every facet of life. The real problem that lies within sexual assault and rape is the lack of education about consent. In health class, you are given a 10-minute lecture about asking and giving consent, but it ends there. Our sexual education programs lack an in-depth education about the consequences of not receiving consent yet still persisting.
Again, sexual assault is a hard subject to talk about and our society refrains from ever doing so unless they are forced to. Rarely are sex offenders a one-time offender, and episode 12 was intended to portray that through Bryce’s character. Justin Prentice, the actor who plays Bryce, explained in the Netflix Original documentary, “13 Reasons Why: Beyond the Reasons,” that episode 12 was immensely difficult for him to perform because of the graphic reality of his assault on Hannah.
Yorkey explains that he and the other producers had every intention of making viewers uncomfortable during this scene to show the most realistic visualization of Hannah’s feelings possible. There were on-site counselors and psychologists present in order to create an authentic portrayal of how exactly Hannah was feeling. In these situations, victims either fight, flee or freeze. Hannah froze, and it is obvious through her face of disassociation while being assaulted.
When you hear about rape or sexual assault on the morning news, rarely do we show the bravery and courage of the survivor. Attention is highly focused on the rapist and what the victim did or didn’t do. Victim-shaming is worse than the initial assault in that we question why she was wearing that skirt, why she was going to that house, why XYZ. Instead of asking what she didn’t do, we need to ask what the rapist did.
Rape victims often suffer from PTSD and depression, and about one-third of rape victims have suicidal thoughts. Rape shouldn’t be a shameful topic. The more people share their rape stories, the more it loses power over them. It is the scariest thing for rape victims to come forward out of fear of being a burden, misunderstood, or penalized. It is on us to educate people on how to receive that information when rape victims come forward in order to create a more comfortable environment that they feel safe in.
The last episode of the series brings the most controversy to whether producers over-dramatized her death. This is bulls***. Hannah has suffered cyberbullying, slut-shaming, rape, and at this point, feels that her life is nothing and that she exists only as a problem to other people. She stopped reaching out to life lines, as most suicidal individuals do. Young adults have not fully formed their frontal lobe, and everything that happens feels permanent, which leads to compulsive acts. Producer Brian Yorkey wanted Hannah’s on-screen death to be painful to watch. And it was. They wanted to emphasize that there is nothing worthwhile about suicide and make that moment as realistic as possible to do honor to those who have gone through it in their own lives. There is an immense amount of collateral damage when someone commits suicide that is not chronic. Studies have shown that for every suicide, there are at least six people that are greatly impacted. The guilt of survivors whom were close to the deceased individual feel guilt, which can cause a downward spiral, as portrayed by Alex in the show.
Sometimes you can try so hard but still miss it, you can be so sincere but so sincerely wrong. It is common for young adults to not recognize their own emotions, and more importantly to verbalize them. Teenagers put their entire lives on Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat, however, that is all curated. You’ll never understand what is truly going on in their life behind the screens. It is so important to do little things to make it known that someone means something to you. Take a minute to acknowledge someone you haven’t connected with in a while, tell your friend you are thankful for your friendship, and never waste a minute refraining from saying exactly how you feel.
For those who need a lift,
Your life matters--to your family, your friends, and to me, a complete stranger. It is okay to not be okay. Humans were made to be imperfect or else there would be no room for improvement. I can promise you, it gets better and you won’t always feel this bad. Please, reach out. Life goes beyond what you’re feeling at this moment and a future of incredible opportunities awaits you. If you need help, call The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. To find a suicide prevention organization in your area, please visit www.13reasonswhy.info. Reach out. You are here for a reason.
