A question I receive a lot in my life is “how do you stay so positive?” I’ve had a few battles in my life but nothing has made me crumble. Recently I had something shake up my life but I continue with a smile on my face. I’ve witnessed some friends’ fall and struggle to get back up. Some of them have asked me for advice on being truly happy again. And my answer is always the same; you can choose joy or you can choose misery.
If you’re miserable you can usually change that. Sometimes you need to change your mindset; sometimes you need to change the situation you are in. Sometimes you need to change both. Happiness isn’t something that just happens; sometimes you’ll have to fight for happiness.
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This, of course, is something that is easier said than done. It’s hard to break the pattern of negativity but there is one thing that I have done for years that always helps. It’s an exercise that my mom taught me when I started having really intense anxiety when I was ten-years-old. I call it “The Happiness List.” It’s something I do every single day, sometimes twice a day. I’m unsure on who came up with this idea first, but I do that it has worked for everyone I’ve shared it with. It’s a fairly simple idea.
Every night before bed, either in your head or physically, make a list of 10 things what has made you happy that day. Sound easy? It can be. A lot of people have asked me, “what if there’s nothing to be happy about?” That’s the point. There’s always something to be happy about. Sometimes I really have to search for things, but I can always find five things to be grateful for. It can be as small as someone smiling at me while I walked down the sidewalk or having someone compliment my outfit. Just like the little things can add up to gloom, the little things can add up to bliss. The trick is to not second-guess the things that are on the list.
I personally like to make my list in my head right before I fall asleep. It helps relax me and center my thoughts. In a world filled with negative media, it's sometimes hard to remember the nice things in life. Thinking through my day and all the wonderful things that happened to me also puts a smile on my face before I fall asleep which is always a pleasant feeling.
When I am feeling really down I usually make my list twice; once when I wake up and once before I go to bed. I know people who have modified what I do and make a physical list throughout their day. They write little things that make them smile throughout their day.
Being truly happy involves being mindful about being happy. Life isn’t always easy or fair and it’s easy to get stuck in a rut of negativity but it’s important to remember that ultimately, you are in control of your own happiness. You are in control of your life.
My advice might not seem like it will help, but I would give it a try before you throw the idea out. The Happiness List has helped me stay positive for almost 10 years. Who knows, maybe it’ll create positivity in your life.
