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The Hands Unknowing

It's never too late to know the hands who love you.

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The Hands Unknowing
Addison Scarbrough

“So, what do you love about your person?” she asked.

“Who? Sloane?” he asked indicating his current girlfriend.

“Whoever your person is.” She shrugged her shoulders and smiled at him.

“I like the way she makes me feel. It’s like I can do anything I want,” he said.

“Like superman.” she said smiling at the ground.

“What do you love the most about your person?” he asked.

“I love his smile. It’s not as deep as what I could say, but when he smiles, I melt. It is one of the most beautiful sights known, but I don’t get to see him smile often. He carries the load of many and I think he forgets to feel.” she said playing with the rip in her jeans.

“Have you told him that?” he asked.

“No, he doesn’t notice me. Have you told your person?” she said.

“No, I am afraid of what she would say. I know she sees me, but I question, as what,” he said.

“Why wouldn’t she like you?” she asked.

He smiled. “Because I am not who I should be around her. I’m a different person. She doesn’t know the real me, the one that secretly admires her every step, but I know her. All about her. The way she plays with her sweater when she gets nervous. The way she conceals her pain. The way she fixes her hair. How she walks confidently, yet, hesitantly. She cares so deeply for everyone. Even the ones who have hurt her in ways that are unimaginable. She continues to help them in any way she possibly can. I admire her power. I fall and continue to fall. People reach out to help me, but I pull away. Even as she is falling, she is flying, soaring, helping everyone who can see her. I once had the chance for her to catch me from falling, but I pulled back in fear of her reputation being crippled by mine.” He voice was stern.

“That strong of a love can not be ignored.” she said.

“Well, why don’t you tell your person how you feel?” he said.

Her face fell slightly enough for him to notice the change, but she sat up and looked straight out in front of her at the whistling ears of corn. “He has someone and I am about 99.9999% sure that he does not know I exist. I watch him go through girl after girl. Never satisfying his need for a home in their arms. Trust me, I want to tell him. I want him to know that he can find that home in my arms. I will hold him and love him and take care of him until I know longer can function. I can’t tell him though because he has not matured, yet, and I feel that he will confuse my love for him with the feeling from the other girls he has kissed.” she said.

“I’m sure he knows that you are here and I bet you that he is afraid to tell you how he feels and that is why he follows all of those girls around.” he said.

She pours a glass of soda for both of them, handing the cup to him she said, “I am going to make a toast.”

“To what?” he asked.

She let out a quiet, yet, deep chuckle. “To us for being so pathetic that we can’t tell the people that we love the most that we love them, even when they are so close to us,” she said raising her glass.

Returning the gesture, he said, “Scary close.”

“Okay. I can’t stand this,” he said after a few minutes of silence.

“What?” she asked.

“I am not going to sit here while we feel sorry for ourselves. Let’s do something about it,” he said.

“Like what?” she asked.

“Tell your person that you love them.” he said.

“No! Have you not heard anything that I have been saying?” she asked.

“No, listen. You tell them right now. Call them or whatever you need to do to get a hold of them and tell them. I will do the same thing.” he said sitting on the edge of his seat.

“You’re crazy.” she said.

“Maybe, but at least we will know that they know how we feel.” he said.

“Okay, fine. When do we need to do it by?” she asked.

“Well let’s see, it is 6:15 pm right now, so by 7:30 pm. We have just over an hour,” he said.

“Okay,” she said. They both sat in silence for watching as the clock changed in the old chevy truck.

“It’s almost time, 7:09. Are you ready?” he asked.

“Nope.” she said, climbing out of the truck and pulling down the tailgate.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“I need air.” she said.

“Okay. I can give you some space if you would like,” he said as he followed her out of the car. He looked up at her sitting on the tailgate.

“No, it’s fine. I’m fine.” Tears started to fill in her eyes as she spoke. She concealed it well, though, in order to not discourage Ian from finishing the bet.

“Hey! What’s wrong?” he asked. He could tell even through her display that she was upset.

She opened her eyes, meeting his. A tear rolled down her face. “Nothing.”

He held her arms. “You’ve got this. Come on,” he lifted her chin and smiled, “Clara. You’ve got this.”

Grabbing his hand from her chin, she held onto it in her lap. She couldn’t breathe. “But I don’t have this, Ian! I don’t! I have always sat behind this guy and not told him what I thought about him. I can’t just change that within an hour of planning.” She said as the tears covered her cheeks.

“Why do I feel like this?” She said backing into the truck bed and raising her voice. “Everything hurts.”

“Clara.” he said.

She continued.

“Clara. Please,” he said.

Turning to him she said, “What?”

“Come here.”

“I’m sorry,” she said crawling over. “I’m sorry. Please call your person. Don’t worry about me.”

“It’s okay.” He whispered cradling her head.

“I’m just so afraid.”

“Of what?” he asked.

“Of what he will say. How he will act. How he will look at me. Oh gosh. I won’t be able to handle it if he doesn’t speak to me. Or smile.” she said.

“It’s 7:25.” he said.

She sat up, wiped her cheeks. “Okay then,” she said.

“Alright. I can call first if you would like?” he asked.

“Okay. That’s fine.” she said.

He hopped off the edge of the tailgate where they were sitting and they pulled their phones out of their pockets. Looking down at his phone then back up at her tear stained face. All the raw emotion. He didn’t tell her that he was afraid as well. He knew that at least she had a fighting chance out in the world because of her overwhelming beauty, but all he knew was his person. He could leave and go off, but his home would always be with her. If she didn’t feel the same for him, then he would lose his home. “I can’t call her.” he said.

Shocked swept over her face. “What?” she asked.

“I mean I don’t have to call her.” he said while he put his phone next to her on the tailgate.

“That was our deal. By 7:30.” she said.

“Clara.”

“What? It was!”

“Clar, it’s you.” He searched her face for any emotion. “Clara Ann Byrne. You are my person. You have been my person since I first laid eyes on you and that will not change regardless of your response to this because it is a piece of who I am. People know me as Ian Cosnett, the star athlete and popular kid who goes out with a lot of girls and gets all of the sports awards, but they don’t know that underneath all of that is someone who is just trying to get your attention. So now I have a chance to hold your attention for at least 30 seconds and if you hear any of this, please hear that I love you.” He let out a deep breath and leaned over the tailgate, placing both hands out in front of him.

She stared at him. Watched his shirt move as he breathed. She knew what she wanted to say, but had no idea how to tell him. She picked up her phone without a word.

“I’m sorry.” he said as he looked at her with hurt in his eyes, put his phone in his pocket, and stepped back from the truck.

He turned away from her, placing his hands on the back of his head. His phone vibrated. He pulled it out and looked down. He spun around, looking from one eye to the next searching for reassurance. She nodded and with that he ran to her embracing her. It was so innocent and he immediately noticed the difference girls he had even hugged, or even kissed, before. He felt the difference between the fake emotion from the prideful girls he’d had before her and the love she carried for him so deep in her heart. The emotion she had concealed from so many people flooded into both of them. He took away her pain and she took away his insecurities.

She gently pulled away. “Ian Will Cosnett, you are my person.” Her head fell into his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her fitting every missing piece back into its original position.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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