To the Guy Who Saved Me...
"You weren't just my security blanket or the one I would run to when nothing else worked, instead you saved me when I least expected it, and in a way we both saved each other."
It's funny how things end up working out.....
If you had told me 2 years ago I'd be at Abraham Baldwin Agricultural College dating my old fling that started in 7th grade, I'd laugh in your face. No way was I was going to ABAC. Plus, me and him? Really? No! That was long over. I can remember us arguing like it was yesterday- most of the time it was the stupidest stuff, but I guess that's what you do you're young and dumb.
Heartbreak changes a person, Space; what I call soul searching, creates a person, Time heals a person, and Love humbles a person.
"As shattered as I was, you still saw hopein me."
Whether it was 8th, 9th, 10th, or 12th grade, you always seemed to come back into my life. It was like you were apart of every year, and even when you thought you weren't, you were. You have seen me hurt, you have seen me nervous, you have seen me happy, you have seen me cry; you see right through me. Even when I was no longer "with" you, I knew you were not one I could fool into thinking I was okay. Although you never said anything to me, your eyes and your body language said it all. You used to, and still do, tell me, "Meredith I know you better than you know yourself." The more time I spend with you, the more I believe it. Maybe that's why I ran from you for so long because I knew you would be the one. You'd be the one that made sense when nothing else did. You would always be there for me- friends, arch enemies, lovers, no matter the situation, and you would eventually be the one that would pick up the billion pieces that were scattered all around and put them back together piece by piece. My biggest fear was things not working out between us, so the easiest thing to do was run, avoid you at all costs, create distance, and build a wall again. I was always good at doing that. Given my situation, I could not afford to be vulnerable. But you never let go.
Most would say that you were stupid for holding on for so long but I think you knew that I would one day come to my senses. (Thank goodness I did!) Because life without you wouldn't make sense. It might have taken me a few years (5 to be exact), a heartbreak, and a nasty break up to make me realize what I had right in front of me, but if I had to go through all of that again just to get to where I am today, I would do it in a heartbeat. We have had our share of fights, arguments, and disagreements in the past but this time it's different. Because of my past, I now see that having someone like you is not easy to come by, and any girl would kill to have someone like you. I am blessed with you. I am much more thankful for you now, since I know just what I have on my hands, and by no means do I intend on letting it go. In an essence, I guess I saved you too. I am so glad that you were able to experience college a year before we became entangled again and I am extremely happy that you found yourself, your people, and what you were looking for while I was not in your path of "learning." We grew apart, and we grew up, while we were not together and we became different people. That's the exciting thing- we get to relearn each other. I am so glad that we found our way back to each other.
This one's for you.
Thank you for waiting. Thank you for still believing in me and what we could still be; thank you for being my friend when I needed one, even though we both knew that is not what you wanted. Thank you for being patient with me, and thank you for being a gentleman, for treating me like a princess. I also want to thank you for being gentle with me when my emotions were on a roller coaster and for putting up with me when I was a wreck waiting to happen. You have given me back enthusiasm where I once thought I had lost it. You have filled me with joy and happiness like I have never felt before. You have done far more than I ever expected. Because of you and all you do, you have allowed me to love myself again. You have reassured me that real life fairy tales can still happen. So thank you for saving me.
Love,
Yours.
