The Grown-Up Chronicles, Part 1 | The Odyssey Online
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Student Life

The Grown-Up Chronicles, Part 1

The first issue of my new, ongoing struggle with trying to adult, and adult the correct way.

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The Grown-Up Chronicles, Part 1
wowsugar.files.wordpress.com

Being an adult sucks. It's worse than being a non-adult who wants to do all the "adulty" things that adults get to do.

But it sucks, okay?

Anyone who knows me, knows of me, knows about me or has secretly stalked my Instagram or Facebook, you know I'm not a fan of this adulthood garbage or whatever this nonsense is. Well, whatever. I'm going to vent, and you, my loyal readers, are going to read it! So I'm starting my own little series, and I'm going to call it "The Grown-Up Chronicles," and it's basically gonna be a venting session about things that adults have to experience, hopefully about something you can relate too.

When is tax season? How do I fill out my taxes? What are taxes?

Seriously. I was kind of taught what they covered and what they were for when I was in high school, but that was like over a course of two days and I have no earthly idea how they're tracked, what it's deducted from, what the information on line 12b and 38f even mean, and what the hell is an "earned income credit?"

So, you mean to tell me I have to pay $200 to go to a woman who I see once a year, so she can enter in some numbers over the course of, maybe, 15 minutes, just for her to say: "Okay, looks like you're gonna owe this year."

But why? Please explain.

I get that I have to pay taxes, I'm even mad about paying taxes. But what do all of these numbers mean, how were they generated, how do you calculate this over that, and why do I always owe the state?! Damn, North Carolina, back at it again with the greedy hands!

I find it ridiculous that society says: "Hey lil' homie, you need to file your taxes, but good luck trying to figure out what it means." I wanna try Turbo Tax, But I'd wind up entering one thing in wrong. I would get over $22,000 back in taxes, the IRS would audit me, I'd be left crying in a jail cell next to some bald serial murderer named Jeff and I'm too pretty for jail. Somebody help!

I get that this time of year is fun for everyone, we get a little extra money, we get to be frivolous for once, and we can get that nice new spatula we've had our eyes on for 2 months. Look, it's nifty, and I just can't justify spending $26 on a spatula unless I'm Bill Gatin' it for a change. I'm just sayin, I want to be able to know how my taxes are calculated and how to file them. Do the financial advisors at H&R Block even know how, or are they winging it and hoping for the best?

I need to take a class. I need to learn about where my money is going an what's happening with it. But I'd rather be in bed with a glass of wine, because I hate having to adult.

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