Can I just...spend about 500 words screaming? No? Okay, lets do this.

2016. We've had our laughs, we've had our sorrows. New memes rise and fall, allowing for a collective chortle amongst a community of Internet denizens. Outrage at incidents of mass violence, sheer terror and panic of our upcoming election, the Internet lies at the heart of it all. We binge watch shows, we vent in 150 characters, witness brawling between delighted trolls and impassioned cyber warriors. The Internet is forever. But of all the sheer creative content of a fast paced, rapidly expanding dimension accessible by billions of people for every second of existence, the newest cultural backlash by edgy 20 somethings looking for fulfillment has to be clowns? Seriously America?

Okay, confession time: of course I've made the joke that this "why so serious?" trend lies partly due to a projection of the most vile, under-qualified, cheeto-dusted harlequin ever to clown around as a Presidential nominee in the history of the United States. I mean, if I want to get a good laugh I can check my twitter feed for the latest meltdown on "the cyber"; it both entertains me and simultaneously terrifies me. Much like actual clowns; thank you Steven King.

This manifestation of my nightmares began in late August, when reports of clowns attempting to lure children into the woods began cropping up in Greenville County, South Carolina. Since then, the creepy clown pandemic has spread across at least 12 states, including North Carolina, Florida, Alabama, Georgia, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, New Jersey, and Maryland. Clowns lurking in the woods. Clowns driving Stranger Danger white vans. Clowns chasing women with a machete. Clowns attacking people and making threats against local schools.

I don't know where this phenomenon originated from, nor do I know why. Call it a government conspiracy to distract us from the very real possibility of a Trump presidency, or a bunch of disenfranchised white guys looking for real life means of trolling, or John Wayne Gacy freaks who genuinely want to hurt people. I haven't a single clue and wouldn't know where to begin speculating why these jokers do what they do. Can we put the blame on Jared Leto? Probably not, although it would be sweet retribution for his method acting shenanigans to the cast of Suicide Squad.

There is some strange fixation on clowns in pop culture. Iconic horror movie and reboot Poltergeist features the terrifying clown-crawling-from-under-the-bed scene (that will most definitely keep me awake at night). Steven King's nightmare fuel It is getting its own reboot this year (because we can't have nice things). American Horror Story's fourth season had a terrifying clown character that staked out in the woods. But the simplest way of summarizing the clown counter culture could be summarized in the worlds of a humble butler regarding the most famous of them all, the Clown Prince of Crime himself.

"Some men just want to watch the world burn."