With the start of any new school year, couples all over the country are forced to decide between two evils: a long distance relationship or a breakup. Neither decision is ideal. Breaking up is terrible (especially if you have been with your significant other for a long time), and long distance relationships are difficult, hard to manage, and many times end in a breakup anyway. No matter what decision a couple ultimately comes to, though, it won’t be an easy one. Even if they decide to go the long distance route, things change, and the relationship will never be the same. The question people need to ask themselves is whether or not they can deal with that, and whether or not they believe their significant other is worth the time and pain that comes with maintaining a long distance relationship.
There is another underlying question, however, that most people forget about, and, in my own opinion, it is the most important question.
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Almost a year ago now, I was forced to make the decision between a breakup or a long distance relationship. When I asked myself whether I was ready for my relationship to change, I said yes because I believed that the guy I was with was worth it. Was it worth the pain? Again, I thought yes. Something I didn’t ask myself, though, was if I saw a future with my boyfriend at the time. The answer to that question was no…That question, to me, is just as, if not more, important as the first two.
When it comes to love, I do believe that humans have a sixth sense of knowing whether or not they are with the right person. When I thought of a future with me and my long distance boyfriend I couldn’t even picture us being together in a year, let alone the rest of our lives. I pushed these thoughts back because I didn’t believe that they mattered. Sometimes though, I think they could have made all the difference.
So what I’m getting at is the fact that a long distance relationship is not worth it if the couple cannot imagine a future together. If they never see their roads coming together again, during or after college, breaking up, to me, is the best decision. Why go through the heartache, the fighting, the sleepless nights for a person that you know deep in your gut is not the right one?
Plenty of people ignore their answer to this question though, just as I did. The consequence is a slow and heartbreaking downfall of the relationship. Each person gets busy with different things, they start forgetting to call each other, texting becomes a hassle, and it eventually feels like there isn’t a relationship anymore. The trick is to know when to get out and to value your own happiness. If the relationship isn’t working it obviously wasn’t meant to be in the first place. It’s not anyone’s fault. It’s just the way it goes sometimes.
That’s not to say that all long distance relationships end in this way. I have seen and continue to see every day long distance relationships that are working for people. These couples communicate and make time for each other. The individuals in the relationship are changing, but each partner learns to love their significant other for everything they are becoming. That’s the way a long distance relationship has to function if it’s going to work.
Yes, long distance relationships are difficult, but if you are with the right person they shouldn’t be something to constantly stress or cry over. You should still love talking to your significant other on a daily basis. They should still make you smile and make your day a million times better just by being a part of your life. Even though you miss them constantly and it’s hard sometimes, you wouldn’t trade them for the world because you can’t imagine anyone better. You may fight and have disagreements, but you work through them because relationships aren’t perfect. As long as you and your partner are in love and see a future together BE TOGETHER! People wait their whole lives to find a love that can transcend distance, and if you find it you should hold on to it.
The decision that you and your partner make is no one else’s. Even though a lot of couples decide to break up before college, that doesn’t mean you and your partner have to do the same. The same goes for the situation where you and your partner have been together forever and you feel like you have to stay together. You don’t. Do what you believe will make you happiest, and think about where you see yourself in ten years. Think about whether or not you can see your partner there with you. Your life is in your own hands now. Make the decision that is best for you.
