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The Girlfriend's Guide To Hunting

Don't be that girl.

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The Girlfriend's Guide To Hunting
www.marty-prokop.com

Have you found yourself in a relationship with a hunter? Girl, are you in for a treat. Hunters make the best boyfriends. Trust me, I date one. Now, it is important to remember to ask yourself a few questions before you get tied into the idea of hunting. Is your relationship new? Are you really ready for this? Can you handle it? It can become strenuous, but extremely fun, I promise!

This article’s main purpose is to help you not be that girl. You know her. She’s the girl that guys usually pick on and make fun of when she can’t handle her own. I have been around that girl before and usually, the time spent with her is unbearable. She is miserable and she makes everybody else miserable, too.

So, I’m guessing his rugged appearance is what attracted you to him. Yeah, I know, there is something about a man in camouflage. Has your relationship reached the pivotal point where he has he asked you to join him on a hunt? Here are a few tips to keep you sane and him happy while you’re out ready to bag a big one.


1. Please, whatever you do, do not I repeat do not scream, "There's Bambi's dad! Look!"

Don’t say a word -- just point! Trust me, he knows. He already sees Bambi’s dad and odds are that he already has his scope on him. Be ready! The gun sound is loud!

2. Don’t wear perfume.

The object of the game is for the deer not to smell your Bath & Body Works. You don’t want the deer to know you are sitting up in a stand looking at him. If you wear perfume, I can guarantee your boyfriend will hate you. Also, make sure you wash your clothes a couple of times in just water, to get out the laundry detergent, but if you’re lazy spray everything down with Scent-A-Way. Animals can smell for quite a long distance.

3. Don’t talk the entire time you are there.

Hunting isn’t only about killing a monster buck, bear, duck or dove or whatever animal you are hunting. It’s about conjoining with nature and enjoying it’s beauty. Shut up and enjoy it. You can talk about your best friend’s terrible outfit choice in the truck ride back to the house. Listen to the wind blowing through the branches and small animals as they scurry around on the forest floor.

4. Be ready for your boyfriend’s interior designing skills.

There’s nothing more a hunter likes to do than to show off his kills. I promise, his place will have walls of his trophies, from ducks to deer to even bears. Be open to it, it is very expensive to get a trophy mounted. Comment on his trophies. Tell him how great they look. He will really like that! My boyfriend let me put sunglasses and a party hat on his first deer that he mounted. He loves it.

5. Don't wear pink camouflage.

You are trying to blend in with your surroundings, not stick out. I can guarantee you won’t be hunting any flamingos. Just don’t do it, okay?

6. Go ahead and buy a decent camouflage shirt and an orange hat.

Your hunter will love that you are prepared and have the common sense not to wear pink or perfume. Please take my advice. You won’t regret it. And if you just have to, it is okay to monogram camouflage. I have plenty of monogrammed camouflage shirts in the past.

7. Bring hand-warmers.

Odds are, it’s gonna be cold. Sure, you’ll have your hunter there to keep you warm, but if he’s seriously hunting, he will not care that you’re cold. Suck it up, dress in layers and put some hand warmers in your pocket. You will impress him with your ingenuity!

8. Use the bathroom before you leave!

Don’t be that girl who has to use the bathroom 30 minutes into the hunt. Use the bathroom before you leave so that you won’t have to go. And if nature calls, hold it as long as you can. He won’t be pleased if you ruin the hunt because you have to pee. Animals will smell it and you will become one of those girls his friends laugh about. You don’t want that.

9. Don’t follow the advice of YouTube videos telling you to put hose stockings over your face as a mosquito repellent.

The only thing you will be repelling is your hunter. Don't be that girl.

10. If you say you’re okay with hunting, then be okay with hunting. If you are not, then that’s okay, too.

Just don’t decide mid-trip that you want to go home because you’re not okay with killing animals. You signed up for this, so stick to it. If this man means enough to you, you won’t ruin his planned hunting day.

11. "Dark thirty" is a time.

Dark thirty is the time in the afternoon when the sun starts to slowly disappear. This is when you will climb down from your stand and make the trek to the four-wheeler or truck.

12. Finally, don’t assume when he asks you to go hunting with him that it is a metaphor for going to the woods and having a romantic outing.

It may lead to that if he gets bored and the hunting is a little slow, so always be a good Girls Scout and be prepared. Just don’t get your feelings hurt if he meant he really wants to go hunting because more than likely he is hunting something with a rack bigger than yours.

If you master all of these elements, all of his friends will be super jealous and your hunter will be proud!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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