I see you, in your work clothes at your 9:30 class, watching the clock to make sure you’re not late for your third shift this week.
I see you, in the line at Starbucks ordering your second coffee today that’s going to have to count for lunch because you just don’t have the time.
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I see you, in the corner of the party your friends begged you to come to, not wanting to leave, but wanting so desperately to go home and just sleep.
I see you.
Your hard work isn’t going unnoticed and it will definitely be worth it. They might not understand it, but your friends notice. It’s not that they don’t care about what else you have going on when they ask you to come out with them- they just miss you.
I thought I was busy in high school when I was trying to juggle my three or so extra-curriculars along with the requirements to graduate early and my weekend job and a healthy social life. I thought that that high-speed lifestyle had equipped me the tools necessary to keep up all through college. While I’m not saying that it didn’t, I am saying that I overestimated my own mind and body’s capacity when I came to college to ready myself for the rest of my life.
In high school, your extra-curriculars understood how important school was. Teachers were okay with giving you the afternoon off to go participate. Work assumed you were in school all day and only scheduled you when it knew you were free. Most everything was already decided for you.
Now that you’re out on your own, and you’re having to coordinate your own schedule, you’ve done a good job of it. You’ve managed to create all of these little time slots and each job, class, homework assignment, party and Netflix binge has it’s own piece of your life. What happens, though, when they start running into each other? You didn’t plan for accidents, and that’s when everything falls apart. Oh, and be drinking your orange juice because heaven help if you get sick.
Plan for accidents, and plan for spare time, it’s okay just to sit with your thoughts sometimes, it’s good for you, even. The fact that you’ve had an hour free because you got out of work early doesn’t mean that you need that time to do homework or to clean your house for the second time this week. Maybe it’s just extra time that you need. Read a book that wasn’t assigned for a class, watch a new show on Netflix, or take a walk without any objective toward your daily step count. Meditate. Or do nothing. Doing nothing is glorious.
Your friends will forgive you for not wanting to come out with them, they will understand that they can’t claim every one of your free minutes. I understand how hard it can be to say no. I know how badly you feel for blowing them off this week. Again. Speak with them, they love you and they’ll get it. It’s okay to miss that showing of whatever movie they’re all going to and it’s okay not to show up at the party they’re throwing just to celebrate the end of the week. You chose to keep these people around for a reason, and I promise you won’t lose them after a hectic month. Breathe.
Most importantly, though, take care of yourself. You’re going to catch yourself at the end of the day having to choose between eating a decent meal or having a long, hot shower, and neither are going to be quite as satisfying as they should be after you’ve spent fourteen hours running around and punching life in the face. If you can plan lunch with a date you really didn’t want to hang out with, but just wouldn’t leave you alone, you can carve out another forty-five minutes to actually condition your hair or take a real bath. Take a minute to be proud of yourself, because you’re doing it, and love yourself a little harder than usual when things start going wrong, because you’ll figure it out.
You’ve got this.
