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The Girl Who Wasn't Ready To Love Me

You weren't ready, but I was.

Stephanie Cruz

Oct 31, 2016

LGBTQ+ at Odyssey

147

To the girl who wasn't ready to love me,

We were young when we met. I fell in love and I thought you did too. We spent every waking moment together and we talked non-stop about our future and all the things we would do and accomplish. But then you cheated for the first of what I didn't know would be many times in the few short months we were together. I fell in love, you fell in lust; we were at two completely different ends of the spectrum. Eventually, when we broke up, it was because I was grounded and had no phone to talk to you and give you attention, so you decided you were gonna leave me for your ex. You broke me. You broke my heart and then you decided to play with the pieces. You played head games with me for months on end until one day I realized how shitty of a person you are. You told me no one would love me like you did. Well, you're wrong. You told me I wasn't really lovable. Well, you're wrong. You told me that everyone I'm ever with will cheat on me. Well, guess what, you are wrong. A year later, you see I'm in a happy healthy relationship and you just tried to swing in with the whole "I miss you and love you and I'm ready to love you now" bull crap. But now it's been four years since the last time we talked. I'm in love again despite all the hurt and pain you put me through. I am no one's second option. I'm not a backup plan and I'm definitely not a rebound. I deserve better than someone who is going to try and sleep with my best friend while I'm with them. I'm worth more than your ugly words. I am beautiful, I am smart and I am funny. You lost, not me. So here's to the girl that destroyed my heart but never destroyed me. I hope one day you aren't so miserable and you learn how to love yourself and other people around you.

Sincerely,

The girl whose heart you broke.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The Girl Who Wasn't Ready To Love Me

You weren't ready, but I was.

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No matter how old you are.

1. Build a snowman

2. Start a snowball fight

3. Build a fort

4. Binge-watch Netflix

4. Look out the window

5. Grab coffee with a friend

6. Complete school or office work

7. Sleep

8. Read a book

9. Bake cookies

10. Drink hot cocoa

11. Go ice skating

12. Take a Walk

"I don't want to do things. I want to not do things."

1. When you look at the syllabus and realize there are only three weeks of the semester left; even though the first day was LITERALLY yesterday.

2. You look at your grades and realize they probably aren't as high as they should be, which is a terrifying realization.

3. When you think to yourself at night, "tomorrow, I will wake up early and go to the library ALL day, and, hell, maybe after I'll go to the gym for a little bit, just to push myself that extra mile."

4. Tomorrow actually comes. The inevitable and overpowering sense of procrastination is too strong to overcome.

5. But you DO end up going to the library. Not all day though, but still, a while. But no, you do not go to the gym. Still, you made an effort, so you decide to treat yo' self.

6. When you realize you need to schedule a meeting with your adviser because you need to sign up for classes next semester. But you also realize that since you waited until the last minute, you're going to get stuck with all of the crappy classes.

7. When you low-key try to slip into conversation with your professors that you need extra credit because you're that desperate.

8. When it's already the third time you've seen your adviser in two days because you have no damn clue what you're doing and need all the help you can get.

9. When you apply for a job associated with your major even though you have no experience, but you just want to dive headfirst into the deep end of adulthood and get it over with.

The world is not always sunshine and rainbows, and you do not have to be, either.

It would be so much easier to just pay someone to do it for you

1. Figuring out when to start

2. Searching through list after list to get everything you need

3. Shopping for deals

4. Getting bins to put everything in

5. Figuring what you can’t live without

6. Going through clothes to find what you need

7. Finding out your siblings took something from you

8. Fighting with your parents.

9. Trying to plan things with your roommate

10. The fear of forgetting something

11. Move in day

Relatable moments from one of the best shows I have ever watched.

1. When you fail that midterm you studied so hard for.

2. When your crush finally texts back.

3. When payday comes around.

4. When you accidentally like someone's picture from 108 weeks ago.

5. When someone takes your unassigned assigned seat.

6. When your favorite character in your favorite TV series dies.

7. When that guy/girl you’ve been crushing on agrees to go on a date with you.

8. When you have so much to do, and such little motivation to do it.

9. When someone asks for your last fry.

10. When you try a new health-food craze.

11. When you get new clothing.

12. When you check your bank account.

13. When they're serving good food in the dining hall.

14. When someone tries to tell you what to do.

15. Or just your thoughts about life in general.

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