I know what it's like, never making the team, or getting the job, or casting a role. I too have experienced the agony of never being "good enough." It sucks, and there is no other way to put it. It sucks never being what you want to be, or getting what you work so hard for. It sucks putting in hours and hours everyday to accomplish this one thing, just to be told "no." I never got pass this tragedy I, and many others, have to face for the rest of our lives. It's not like we weren't physically good enough, but sometimes it is more of a political factor that has control of our unaccomplished aspirations.
I was 10 years old when I did not make my first softball team. I was a good player, and not to talk myself up, but I deserved that spot. Yet I did not make it. Until middle school, I would not try out for another team again. Being said, I played basketball and softball my whole life, but in high school I only made the softball team once, my sophomore year, and I quit basketball after my freshmen season. It truly crushed me, the two things I was always committed to and passionate about, I was not "worthy" of.
At 15, I was denied my first potential job. It was a little pub and kitchen in the downtown area of my hometown. I was told the position was filled, but I heard from another source that I did not get it because of my size, and their "concern" for me getting around quickly. I then got a job a year later down the street from that place, where I spent the best/worst 2 and a half years of my life at, just to be told they would not like me to come back as a seasonal employee. The hurting from not getting a position never goes away, in fact, on March 2, of this year, I found out I did not get the RA position that I have wanted ever so badly. I knew I wanted to be a RA before I knew what college I would attend or my major would pursue. I am not angry, but I can't help to feel disappointed.
I wish there was some kind of success story that inspires you to keep going, but I don't have one. I just want you to know that I will struggle along your side, and I too will feel your hurt. Don't stop because you didn't succeed. Continue onward to something greater than yourself, and I will be there with you. You are good enough.
Sincerely,
That Girl
