Dear You,
You survived some of the lowest and highest points in your life: middle school (dear god, it was terrible), high school (not much better), and college (slightly better, but not really). However, it seemed that no matter how many times you were put down during your adolescent years, you constantly pushed yourself upwards using the negativity as fuel. This is so crazy considering that this is the SAME GIRL who became so damaged and down on herself not even a year later. Being just like you, I, too, got to a new environment and completely shut down after being rejected not even two weeks after I started my first few college classes.
Throughout high school, you were one of the smartest students, the one many knew would go on to do great things. However, is there a true definition of "great things," or is that just a word that small-minded people have dubbed to be "a career that makes the most money"? Sure, you were so close to being convinced to pursue something else, but thankfully you were reminded of the talent and love that you had for your passion, no matter if others deem as a hobby.
What really surprises me is that you spent four years of your life being weird, being the nerd, and really working your butt off to ensure you paved the way to the school that you really wanted to go. But then you weren't accepted, and that really put a damper on your plans; you had always been told that you could have anything you wanted, and then the real world smacked you right in the face and laughed.
You never knew how much that first rejection would affect you, however, it was the second rejection at your second choice school that really hit you hard. Because they weren't picking from a large applicant pool, you basically forced yourself to think that you were going to be alright, even if you were at the bottom of the pole as a first-semester student. But then, you weren't even looked at a second time. You were crushed. You were done. You were giving up.
You spent the rest of the semester looking for ways out, just one way that would get you to the place where you want more than anything else in the world to be and to live and to train. There was just one place, and you had decided that after that night, you would never feel that way again and that you would never let rejection affect you like that. And you know what you did? You worked, both night and day, to regain the confidence to be able to stand in front of people again and say what you wanted to be.
Finally, you acted on it. You did what so many others couldn't do, no matter the cost, and you knew from that very moment that you would never look back, even if you felt comfortable and sad to leave what you once knew. Sometimes, it may feel like all the walls are burning around you, that everything is falling apart. But here's the thing, you never gave up. You took every ounce of negativity, and although it was so hard all the time to let it go, you turned it into a fire that never stopped flaring. You did it. You followed your dreams. You created you.