First things first, you have to kill the spiders because he absolutely will not under any circumstances.

Don't make fun of his car, or the fuzzy dice hanging from the rearview mirror. Yes, it's an old man car but he loves the Pimp Mobile (yes he will actually call his car the Pimp Mobile, just roll with it).

Have an appreciation for "Harry Potter." If not an appreciation, then at least have seen the movies.

He's going to flirt with the waitress or the girl in the drive-thru, or the old lady standing in front of you in line. He doesn't mean any harm by it and he doesn't love you any less - he just doesn't know how to not be charming.

Understand that he's one of the world's pickiest eaters and will probably (definitely) question half the things you eat. The boy doesn't even eat bacon - trust me, I don't understand it either.

Don't ask him what he thinks of your shoes because if they're not anything Adidas, they're not worth his time. Honestly, if you ask his opinion he'll probably say they're ugly and then you'll be offended so it's safer to just not ask.

He needs to take his space and play his video games sometimes. He gets very excited about them - just wait until the world championship tournament for League of Legends rolls around. But he will text you back, I promise.

He's going to try and create fights with other people that make absolutely no sense to be fighting about. Sometimes, he just really likes to argue so it's usually best to let him blow off some steam and then he won't even remember what he wanted to fight about later.

If you're getting him a drink, don't put ice in it. He'll probably stop asking specifically so just remember to leave the ice.

If you're out somewhere and there's a cat, let him freak out and go pet it because finding a new cat to play with, even for a little, probably just made his day.

He's always hungry for Chinese (I'm talking three in the morning always). If he's having a bad day, or you just wanna surprise him, get him beef and broccoli from a Chinese restaurant but be sure not to mix the rice in with the beef and broccoli and do not, under any circumstances, forget the chopsticks because he will pout.

He's full disclosure. Tell him everything you think and feel because he will do the same for you. Don't push him away. He wants to help and he wants to be there, so let him in.

And most importantly: take care of his heart, if you've got it, because he's such a special person and the best friend I've ever had. Constantly remind him that you care and you're there for him, and be good to him - because he'll be incredible to you. He'll have you laughing on the days you need it most, and he'll always be there for you to fall back on. He deserves so many good things so be what he deserves. Love him 'til he's almost sick of it, and then love him some more because he will do the same for you.

If you don't you get to deal with me.

Sincerely,

A very protective best friend