Hello there,

You’re the girl who always has it all together. You most likely always have make-up on, wear a decent outfit to class, hair done, and you act like every social relationship you have is completely fine. Nothing could ever bring you down. At least, that’s what people think. But, on the inside, you’re screaming and crying because everything is certainly not OK.

People like us tend to hide our feelings to prevent others from being hurt, because the times we have exposed our true feelings, the other person has not taken it well. So, you learn to just keep your mouth shut and not say a word. You don’t want to hurt people’s feelings, because most likely, you put other’s happiness before your own. You’re constantly taking on more than you can handle by signing up for new things, agreeing to yet another social outing, while also trying to juggle work and school.

You can’t say no, so you just keep on saying yes. However, this leads to burning out. You also don't feel like you can say how you really feel because it'll upset others too much. Now if you’re really close to certain people, you’re not afraid to show your true feelings, and it leads you to sometimes lashing out at those close to you instead of the people you really want to say something to that maybe you’re not so close to. Or, maybe you’re close to them, and you’re just afraid that they'll run away if you show your feelings.

It’s a hard time trying to pretend you’re completely fine all of the time. You try to look nice and act fine, so people think you’re OK and won’t ask too many questions. However, this can lead to anxiety that sneaks up on you when you’re sleeping or when you wake up and realize everything you have to do because you’re trying to juggle friendships, school, work, family, and maybe a significant other. It can cause you to sometimes hide in the bathroom for a minute and get a few tears out so you can get out and face the world.

My advice to you is to take a few nights off a week. You don’t have to be doing something all of the time. Sometimes the best thing to do is lay in bed, watch your favorite show or movie, and go to bed early. Instead of going out with friends, stay a night in with them and have a girls’ night in rather than a girls’ night out. It’s hard to juggle everything, but keep pushing through because it will get better. Just remember you have to have some time for yourself so you don’t burn out. Take the time to tell people how you feel in a respectful way so you don’t lash out later. You don’t always have to have it all together, OK? Just do what makes you happy.

Sincerely,

A Girl Who Looks Like She Has It All Together