I’m going be seriously cliché and write this from a “bad break up” mindset saying, “it’s not you, and it’s me”. Now, with that being said, we both know why this is being written: I hate you. I wouldn’t say I seriously hate you it’s more of a misunderstanding that made me hate your guts. Like I seriously think about you and get immediately get angry, but I didn’t write this article to tell you how much I hate you. Instead, I am writing this to tell you that I am no longer going to let my bitterness fuel my hate fire for you and I am determined to make the most out of this horrible situation.
But first, how did we even get here? Oh wait, I remember, you broke my trust. I never wanted to hate you, but you really hurt me. You took my biggest insecurities and you used them against me. (I know for a fact that each and every one of you reading this have dealt with something similar). I tried to forgive and forget, but instead it turned into forcing myself to forgive you and resenting everything. We were really close at one point, and while I miss that, I now realize I found the things I don’t like about people, in you. This doesn’t mean you’re a bad person at all, it just means maybe we weren’t meant to be best friends, but, hey, we tried. And that’s OK. If we were all meant to be friends with one another, Donald Trump wouldn’t be so determined to build a wall, Mean Girls would have been an awful movie, and the Beatles would still be together.
Unfortunately, we still have to deal with each other, which neither one of us is excited about. Friends chose you over me and vice versa and it led to nothing but more heartache. You added to my insecurities and they’ve drowned me and swallowed me whole. I hate that I already have my own worries and fears, and then you come in and amplify them all. For that screw you; however, I can’t even say that because I know for a fact you probably have your own hurt feelings and self doubt you’re dealing with, and for that, screw me. We’re damned if we do, and we’re damned if we don’t. Long story short, we’re up creek without a paddle.
I decided to write this because it would be REALLY easy to say, “it’s not you, and it’s me. Actually no, it’s you, you’re a bitch”, but me being the stubborn person I am, I hate to take the easy way out. I hate drama (even though I can’t keep my own mouth filtered) and I hate conflict (funny how I say that and I wrote this letter). I am tired of the glares across the room or the hurt feelings about not getting invited out on Saturday nights by our friends. We know why they do this: I am a psychopath and I just can’t keep my attitude together, and you really have a way with pissing me off. I don’t even know if you do this intentionally, but you’re extremely good at it. If you were Leoardo DiCaprio, you would have gotten that Oscar on the first try.
I hope my actions and reactions about the situation haven’t hurt you too much. That was never my intention, honest. Hopefully we can hold on to the nice memories we made together and just keep our distance until one of us feels differently. Wait- maybe it’s not so cliché. It’s not you and it’s not me. It’s our stupid feelings and insecurities that we’ve both just accepted to aim the frustration of at each other. Until a miracle decides to happen and change things, maybe we can just agree to disagree with one another and only feel mutually on the fear of if Donald Trump becomes president.
