To the girl crying over that boy,

Look at you. No, actually get up and go look at yourself in the mirror. See that girl? Brush away the tears and you will see the strongest, most independent girl who can handle anything. Her bravery is hiding right now, but trust me, it’s there and it is dying to come out and prove to the world that it exists. So let it.

When did we, as girls, start letting boys define our happiness? When was it decided that to be happy was to be in a relationship? And when did girls start feeling so helpless that they needed a guy of all people to make them feel worth something? Guys don’t have the capability of making you feel as whole as you can make yourself. It was never said that a girl needed a boy in her life to be happy. I find that girls feel almost ashamed to say they are single or not talking to anyone right now. When did this nonsense start happening?

Don’t get me wrong, relationships are a beautiful thing, and if you are happily in one, I’m truly happy for you. However, I do not feel that my life is of any lesser value because I am not in one. I am sick and tired of allowing boys to dictate my happiness and to let them say words that they know will get to my heart. So why do we let them? It is up to us to stop them from getting exactly where they want to be. If we are not strong, independent, self-lovers, how can we expect anyone else to love us the same?

I used to be the girl crying over that boy. Sometimes I still am. Sometimes, it’s over a boy I just met and sometimes, it’s over one I’ve known my whole life. But I am done looking in the mirror and seeing a tear-stained girl staring back at me. Instead, I see a genuine, caring, and intelligent girl staring back that any guy would be lucky to love. I see a girl who believes in herself and in her future and works hard to achieve her goals. I see a girl who has fun and is not afraid to be her dorky and silly self, despite what boys might think of her.

Boys are not evil. However, allowing them to define your days is evil and there is no one to blame but yourself. Stop sitting in bed waiting for a text back. Go out and explore. Go on adventures. Laugh and sing with friends. Buy yourself a new pair of shoes. Dress up and go out and dance the night away with people who see you for who you are. Because who you are is pretty special, and when the right guy sees that, everything else will fall into place.

Until then, breathe. There will always be time for boys. There will not always be time to act your age and simply have the time of your life. Embrace your inner Beyonce, single ladies!!