The age old discussion about growing up.
Ever since I was younger, I have been afraid to grow up. Not in the sense that I am immature and don't want responsibilities (but then again who is someone that is like, "hey, may I sign up for some responsibilities?" If that is you I give you major props). It is in the sense that growing up leads to pain, struggle, confusion, and worst of all: change.
1. Pain
Pain is experienced in many different aspects whether its heartache or an end of a friendship. These memories, yes, teach you something, but are engraved in your brain. For some reason, I believe that the pain that you go through in your late teens and early twenties and on is hard to overcome. It just seems much easier when we were younger and you would be upset for five minutes and then get over it.
2. Struggle
Struggle, as you grow up with what seems to be like a struggle, isn't as bad as what's to come in your college years and later on. It might seem like the end of the world to a high schooler who just got a B on their English final, but it isn't the end of the world. Life goes on and you forget about it. The struggle that I am referring to is when you grow up and can't make rent or can't pay student debt. Luckily I have yet to experience these things, yet they linger in the back of my mind from time to time.
3. Confusion
Confusion, as you grow up it, is a real thing. You can be confused in a variety of ways about who you really are. This, in my opinion, is true especially through high school and college. Where you try to find yourself and develop into an adult. It's confusing to know, at least for me, if I actually enjoy something or if it's just because it is supposed to be enjoyable. This factor is difficult to fully describe, but work hand in hand with change, which is my next point.
4. Change
Change as we grow up works in full force. Everything is changing our surroundings, the people in our lives, and even our bodies. I fear change though it is inevitable to avoid it. I blame my personality when it comes to this fear. I just like to have the same people in my life and I grow attached to them. This is both good and bad. The good part is that I appreciate the people I have in my life. The burden comes when you grow apart from people or move and it impacts your relationships with these people. However, there is good that comes from a change that I am starting to learn. It brings on new interests and develops your personality. It brings new people in your life that can teach you things about yourself that you never knew. I mean even though I fear it I can't deny that not all change is negative it can be positive too.
If it were up to me I would stay maximum 21 years old for the rest of my life, sadly life doesn't work that way. Even though I may fear growing up I can't deny that it has impacted my life greatly (I mean of course). Even though bad things come with growing up, it also brings a lot of great things. I am learning to embrace it every day with all four factors in play.
