Few things bother me as much as the presence of a fly. I hate the way they swarm around, land on your food while supposedly pooping and rub their little hands together. This fly in particular is one that will be hard to forget. It must have taken a couple of hours and multiple tries between me my father and dog, Harlee to catch this fly. It was just too fast and wouldn’t stay put in one place. Unexpectedly it reminded me of how life is.
When I first came in contact with the fly I was back from the gym minding my own business. The noise was so pronounced, I thought to myself that I could totally kill it, but didn’t feel like it because I was tired. While I stood in my living room it circled around me. A small body with a huge buzz. I figured I could get it later so I stepped in the bathroom ready for a shower. I knew something was up when the fly followed me inside. It was clearly time for me to kill so I ran to get the fly swatter, but before I got my hands on the metal handle from on top of the fridge, the fly was nowhere to be seen. I stood in annoyance thinking of the nuisance buzzing around me as I slept. Nonetheless, I showered, figuring my father would get it.
Clearly forgotten of the situation, after my shower I went to my room to write. It was a stressful day filled with anxious thoughts about who I should be instead of how spectacular I already am and I needed to let it all out. My dad peeked in my door asking me if I killed the fly. Saying no, I realized he wasn’t able to kill it either and it was somewhere in the house.
We decided to form an alliance, two people who have no mercy on one savage fly. Minutes passed of stress, contemplation and ridiculous tactics made up. When I got home from the gym it was 8:30. Now it was 10:00 and mind you, my shower was only ten minutes. I tried to reap its life away from its pesky body with my bare hands to feel defeated and scroll on my phone. My dad tried to aimlessly swat around and eventually got tired. We even had my dog go in various rooms with it alone in hopes she would eat it, but nothing quite did it. I went back to my room furious about this fly. I’m not kidding, I loathe flies and not just because I’m writing this article. They’re disgusting.
Back in my room, I decided to tune everything out and give my body some self-love. My therapist told me about a new technique to try whenever I feel down on myself, rub my body with coconut oil and say “I love you” in different, gentle tones. Sounds weird until you realize how normal it would be if you were giving a back massage to someone you liked and how sad it is that it isn’t normal to do it for the person who has always been there for you, yourself.
When I left my room with fresh pjs my dad frantically approached me. He still didn’t get the fly and he's glad I’m finally out doing whatever the hell I do in my room with my doors closed. I was heading towards the bathroom anyway where the culprit was and took a deep breath. I was closed in with the fly in my normally quiet bathroom. His flying wings could be heard from all angles. If he could just sit in one place for more than a second. Easily, the fastest fly I’ve ever encountered, but not as fast as me. Without thinking I whacked it where it landed on my garbage can. Then a few more whacks. My dad reaffirmed his death and congratulated me on the slaying.
After going our separate ways it hit me like my fly swatter on the recently deceased. There’s no point of ignoring your problems. Things take time. When you got to push through it’ll happen at the right moment. It’s okay if you take breaks it doesn’t mean you’re lazy or unmotivated. It’s okay if it takes hours to complete a task no matter how small or big. Every task is new and under different circumstances, even if you’ve done it a million times before. When you watch close enough there are signs and guides all around you. Teamwork is everything and it always helps to have the same goal while trying to reach it different ways.Even if people think it’s simple and they can do it better, you still do your best. Sometimes things take time to manifest and when you want something bad enough it’ll flow easier when you are gentle towards yourself. Everything works much easier if you make space to love yourself.
I would like to say that no flies were harmed during the blessing of this lesson, but sometimes life understands the necessity of a compromise.
