The first time I picked up a sword, something clicked. It sounds trite-- some magic moment that changed my destiny forever-- but for me, it was a reality.

I still remember the smell of the gym, the sheer amusement of actually finding myself in this position and, most importantly, the way my entire brain switched off. Suddenly, after years of battling attention issues and lack of motivation to do much of anything, I found myself laser-focused on the task at hand. All I had to do was hold the sword.

My coach was a real-life Patches O'Houlihan-- a cranky old guy in a wheelchair who just happened to be an expert on fencing. He sat, rolling back in forth in front of me, yelling at me to make minute adjustments to my footwork, to watch the angle of my head, to keep proper distance between me and my opponent.... there were a million things to remember, but the only coherent thought I held on to was "this makes more sense than anything else in my life". I fell in love.

Since then, I've trained and competed in a number of different fighting styles and techniques in several different organizations. My favorite weapon to fight with is broadsword, a type of weapon used by medieval knights in battle.I've learned a lot over the ten or so years I've spent studying swordplay in its varying forms. Surprisingly, most of what I've learned isn't about swords at all.

1. You learn to think differently. 

If I had a dollar for every time a coach yelled at me to be more aggressive, I would have a billion trillion dollars. I'm terrible at being aggressive. I like to analyze my opponent, wait for them to make the first move, but in a lot of matches, the reality is that my hesitation leaves my open to attack. Once I recognized this, I started realizing that I was doing it in my "real" life as well-- not making decisions because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Going through training helped me learn that it's okay to act first, that being decisive doesn't make me bossy or a 'bitch', it just makes me efficient. And, in competition, it makes me a better fighter.

I've also learned that failing miserably can be an incredibly educational experience. I've studied several different types of weapons and in several different organizations-- and each time, I've had to let go of what I knew before and open myself up to a new style of fighting with a new set of rules and regulations. As a perfectionist, sometimes, it can be hard to let go-- I get frustrated because I "should" know how to do things perfectly each time-- but the simple truth is that I can't-- and that's okay too.

2. You learn to look at yourself in a different way.

I have huge thighs. As a woman in America, I often feel outside of the beauty norm-- I'm stocky with wide shoulders and huge, muscular thighs. Buying jeans is a bitch. However, I've learned that when I'm fighting, my thighs become an advantage, especially as a 5'6" fighter who often faces up against fighters who are a good six to ten inches taller than me-- I can squat for DAYS-- so, suddenly, I become a much, much lower target, and a lot harder to hit. My body is often a source of insecurity-- but when I'm fighting, it becomes part of my arsenal, a trained weapon that I can use to defeat my opponent. I have learned to appreciate my body more and to look at its flaws as sources of strength-- and that's an amazing feeling.

3. Your stuff is cooler than everyone else's stuff.

As you progress as a fighter or develop new interests, you invariably pick up more swords, equipment and accessories. You will become the person your friends call when they need a sword for a play or Halloween costume.

However, having a sword around can come in handy-- I once pulled a sword on a drunk guy in a parking lot because he followed me to my car and was harassing me. It turns out that pointing 3 feet of steel at a dude is a great way to get him to back off. (Don't worry, none of my blades are sharpened, he was in no actual danger. But it looked cool as hell.)

4. You will meet a lot of concerned citizens.

The first time I brought my boyfriend to a fight practice, our instructor let us fight, just as a fun introduction to what was to come. During the match, I got cocky and made a stupid mistake that kept my left side completely open. My boyfriend landed a shot directly on my left shoulder. In my head, I looked at that as my just punishment for my poor technique. Later that night, a huge, ugly bruise appeared. When we went over to his parents' house later that weekend, his mom got legitimately upset that he had hit me and scolded him: "We didn't raise you to hit girls!"

I explained to her that it actually meant a lot that he was willing to treat me as a legitimate opponent, that pulling punches(well, sword....punches) doesn't help me become a better fighter, that his respect for me --not just as his girlfriend, but as a fighter- meant a lot to me, and I think she sort of got it by the end of our conversation.

This concern does not end with family members--complete strangers on the street have stopped me and asked me if I needed help. I always thank them very sincerely for the concern and explain that I'm a fighter, but some people have a harder time believing that a girl could POSSIBLY want to get hit with swords for fun. When

this happens, I like to give them brochures or flyers for a local fighter practice. I never trivialize their concern, because le's be honest-- some day, they might meet someone who actually needs help, but for me, I also think it's important to remind people that women are not all the same-- some of us pursue weird hobbies, and that's okay too.

5. You'll learn that people are amazing. 

When I first started out, I was always really nervous showing up at a new school or group, because, well, I'm a girl. What if they thought it was weird that a female fighter wanted to train with them? What if they were jerks?

Spoiler: The people in all of the fighting communities I've had the pleasure to work with are incredibly talented and dedicated people. Most groups and organizations thrive on volunteers who train on weekends and in their spare time and do it for the love of it-- and so you learn just how passionate people are about their sport. Not only that, but you quickly realize that these clubs only function when there are new members-- fighting the same 5 people gets really old after awhile.

The most welcoming and encouraging people I know are fighters. They are excited to teach newcomers because that's how they share their skills. I have been "the new kid" more times than I can count, and I have never once been told that I couldn't participate or was "less than" because of my femininity. (Although it's fun to watch instructors realize that some standard moves aren't going to work because I have boobs in the way).

Sure, there have been some jerks or creeps who felt the need to be inappropriate in varying ways. The thing that always encouraged me is that these people were always dealt with. No one ever sat back and let someone say sexist crap to me without speaking up on my behalf. The community is full of great people who respect me for who I am, and that has been one of the major reasons I keep wanting to delve deeper and to learn new things-- I have a family of amazing people who have my back, just as I have theirs.

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My journey into becoming a sword... woman has led me into places I never thought I'd go. I've met people from all walks of life who I may have never met otherwise. I've learned to trust myself, trust my abilities and, perhaps most importantly, learned that the community I inhabit is a place where I can be myself and continue to grow as a person and as a combatant. Plus, I get to hit people with swords.
For more information on learning to fight, check out your local SCA chapter (http://www.sca.org/), the Armored Combat League (http://www.aclknights.com/) or the Historical European Martial Arts Aliance at (http://www.hemaalliance.com/)