1. You are the authority on you.
First and absolutely foremost, you learn that you are your own best advocate. Whether you’re out, questioning, or completely in the closet, you may be categorized and filed away as confused or in a phase. Completely disregarding whether it’s true or not, the only person who has the right to make that call is YOU. Discovering who you are in and outside of your sexuality is something you and only you have the authority on.
2. Maybe some of the rumors are true – And that’s okay.
Some clichés and connotations do have some merit to them, and it’s okay to fall under them. It won’t make you any less unique. I love flannel, Tegan and Sara, and own three cats, but that has more to do with the fact that I love cuddly warm things and cute Canadians with guitars and less to do with the fact that my sexuality can be described as fluid at best.
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3. People can be cruel.
It’s an unfortunate reality that the cruelty of other human beings is commonplace. While the LGBTQ+ community obviously doesn’t have a monopoly on being discriminated against, it could be argued that homophobia is one of the most rampant sources of intolerance in the world, regardless of the religious or cultural values of a particular area. The knowledge that a queer individual would be hard pressed to find a place in which they face no judgement or opposition in regards to who they choose to love isn’t only disheartening, it’s unacceptable. While we are making incredible strides to a more tolerant and accepting society, it seems that for every victory, there are more bitter reminders of how far we still have to go. I know it’s incredibly discouraging, but the only solution to hatred is to love more and love fiercely. Kill them with kindness.
4. Your sexuality will never be the most interesting thing about you.
You may discover upon coming out that you suddenly become the token “queer friend.” You may catch yourself contributing to this rhetoric, and it’s understandable. For a while, it may seem to be the thing that is at the forefront of your identity. Let me be clear- there is absolutely nothing wrong with becoming comfortable with yourself and having pride in who you are, please know that there are so many other things that contribute to the person you are. You are more than a demographic, and there are plenty of things that factor into the amazing person that you are and will become that have nothing to do with who you chose to love.
5. There is nothing wrong with you.
I was incredibly lucky to be born into a family that is as accepting as it is loving and to have found a group of friends who me wholeheartedly. Sadly, many queer individuals have no such luck. Even with an amazing support system, I have experienced verbal and mental abuse that contributed to anxiety, depression, and self -harm. This is not a unique occurrence. How could it be, when we are surrounded by rhetoric that attempts to reinforce the idea that queer individuals are disgusting, perverted, or possibly the most horrifying, going to hell? Self-love can be hard to come by when you are told and told often that every single thing is wrong with you. It isn’t. Love is the source of goodness, grace, and peace, and there is no shame in who you choose to love. Whether you’re out to an accepting family, out and ostracized, or still hiding in the dark closet you’ve created for yourself, know this: You are more loved than you know, and you are perfect the way you are. The world would not be the same if you were not here, and there will never be anything but perfection in the love that you have to give.
