That first step…

I should be asleep right now, resting for my first marathon, but like most major and uncommon events, I find myself stuck in that anxiety-filled period just before. As I’ve found out, it is getting to the first step that is usually more difficult than the challenge ahead. Of course, there are those exceptions, but being surrounded by people who seek out these challenges; I am more impressed by how they deal with getting ready.

Last summer, I was prepping for something that I had never done before: jumping out of a plane. There is one catch; the Air Force Academy allows first time jumpers to leave the plane door solo — the only place in the world where this happens! A solo first jump is unheard of. That week of training was chock-full of rehearsing every possible emergency procedure, walking through every part of the jump and brainwashing us to think, sleep, breathe and live in that constant training environment. What got me through, and I’m sure I can say the same with my friends in that program, was the constant working together to prepare ourselves for that first jump. Once we left the safety of that perfectly good airplane, it was up to us as an individual to save our own lives.

I wasn’t nervous during training — we were too engulfed with memorizing everything down to the punctuation of the emergency procedures to think about leaving that plane in a week. When we got back to the dorms after being down at the airfield for most of the day, we went to each other’s rooms and quizzed each other. We spun people around in chairs and yelled at them, trying to stress them out and simulate the instructors testing us for our check outs. We dreamed about the procedures and talked about nothing but the jump. We were responsible for getting our teammates to that door and knowing that we did everything possible to make them ready to save their own life (our jumpmasters reminded us of that very fundamental concept of freefall parachuting).

One important detail I left out: I was afraid of heights. More specifically, falling. Keyword: was. Being surrounded by impressive cadre and jumpmasters, some only a couple years older than me, I had no real fear as soon as training began. Actually, for the first time, working toward that goal of leaving a plane with nothing but a parachute on my back (and a reserve parachute of course) was exciting. It is nothing like I have ever done in my life. But most importantly, it was the people around me that helped me reach where I needed and wanted to be that I can attribute to letting go and hurtling towards the earth. Because they had faith in me and did their best to sacrifice their free time to help each other and myself.

I will never forget that feeling. Working so hard towards a goal that seemed almost impossible. And then, while sitting in the plane with about 10 of my closest friends, the jump master turns to me and says, “Mike, STAND IN THE DOOR.”