My fiance isn't my first love. In fact, he isn't the second person I fell in love with either. A lot of people will shake their heads when reading that. How could a woman of 23 years understand what love is early enough to have experienced being "in love" more than once before settling down with her future husband? Isn't the person you marry supposed to be the only person you've ever truly loved? I don't really have the answer. The only thing I can say is that I am one of those people that is absolutely full of love; in every sense of the word.
Now before we get too far into this I need to explain something that a lot of people around my age don't seem to grasp; being in love and loving someone are two completely different things. Yes, you can love someone dearly, but being in love with them is much more. I've loved other boyfriends. I thought they were fantastic people; funny, charismatic, intelligent, and much more. However, I wasn't in love with them. My feelings for them didn't go beyond the surface. Being in love is seeing the person you're with for everything they are, the good and the bad, and knowing that in your heart of hearts they're the person you look to for everything. You share your laughter. You share your tears. The memories you have are with someone who will never vacate your heart completely. When you love someone but aren't in love with them your memories tend to fade over time. I can't remember the exact date that I started dating the people I loved. I can remember the exact moment I fell in love with my first love.
Anyway, all of that being said; let's jump to what this article is actually about!
Your first love is someone who the whole world stops the instant you meet them. You stop looking at your sheet music in marching band because you fell in love with them in one solitary moment.
Your forever love is someone you take some time to warm up to. It's not fast by any means. It's slow, and it's steady. Falling in love with your forever love is gradual and constant. I haven't stopped falling in love with my future husband, and I dare say I don't think I ever will.
Your first love makes your head spin and your heart stop. They drive you crazy because for the first time in your life you're loving someone more than yourself. You don't know what you're in for when you meet your first love.
Your forever love makes you crazy, but in a completely different way. Your forever love is going to push your buttons. They're going to be the person that agitates you like no other, but despite all of the irritation you can't imagine your life without them. You work things out. You are both a member of a team of equally agitating people.
Your first love opens your heart to things it never knew existed. Your first love often is the first to truly teach you what romantic love is like. You can watch rom-coms to your heart's content, but if you don't actually experience it you're not going to grasp the concept of it. Your first love can also show you what those angst-ridden songs you listened to as a teen really talk about, too. They can break your heart.
Your forever love is someone who can break your heart the easiest. They're the one that have the power to hold your fragile heart in their hands and tear it apart so easily you'd think your vital organ was made of tissue paper. They're also the ones you trust wholeheartedly to hold your heart safely for the rest of your life. Your forever love is the one that will not break your heart. Your forever love is someone who is going to open your mind to the knowledge that your heart isn't meant to be broken. Ever.
Your first love is the one you're afraid to lose. Now, before you go getting your underwear all twisted please let me explain. You're afraid to lose them so much that when you fight with them you feel like your world is crashing down around you. And when you do fight? Forget it. It's irrational. It's childish. It's moronic. Your first love is the the one that lets you go when you start walking away. They have absolutely no fight in them. I remember quite vividly asking my first love to fight for me. What he didn't know at the time was that I didn't want him to fight WITH me. I wanted him to chase me when I walked away. When I finally got up the courage to go he let me.
Your forever love will never let you walk away. You will never have to ask them to chase you because they will always be showing you that you needn't run. You're not afraid to lose your forever love because they give you absolutely no reason to be. When you have disagreements you can talk about them rationally without feeling as if you can't vocalize your thoughts because it might push them to run. Your forever love is the person you don't walk on eggshells around.
Your first love is the one that you cry yourself to sleep over. They're the one that you love so much that it literally hurts. You lay in bed awake at night wondering if you said the wrong thing. You sit in class not thinking about anything else but how to fix it. Your first love holds that power over you, and quite often they abuse it.
Your forever love will make you shed tears........of happiness. Who knows, may you'll even make them cry as well. Your forever love will watch you walk down the aisle with tears welling up in their eyes because that's what forever love is. It's happiness to the point where you can't contain it so it pours out in any way it can. Your forever love will incite laughter. They will encourage positive emotion instead of negative.
Your first love is just that....your first love. They will always hold a special place in your heart. I still love mine. I'm not in love with him, though. Not like I was. Not like I am with my husband-to-be. He played such an important role in shaping who I am today, and what I view love as. He broke my heart; over and over again. I let him because your first love has that power.
Your forever love is so much more than your lover. They're your support team. They're your role model. They're the cheese to your macaroni. They're your best friend. They care about you in every way imaginable. They are the glue that holds your crazy world together. They are the one you chose. They will never break your heart. They will never make you cry. They're the ones you'd rather die than live without. They're the ones you will give all of yourself to.
Yes, I totally had a Backstreet Boys moment there, folks.
The biggest difference between the two that I've found is that your first love is youthful. It's brilliant. It's the love that you always imagined it'd be. Your forever love is mature. It's understanding. It's more.
