This Christmas is different then all the others before.

We had a tradition going on, one I can remember clear as day. I would wake up, run downstairs to open presents. Once we were all done, we go in the car and went to Mom Mom and Pop Pops house. There, we would open more presents. Most times we would wait until Uncle Randy arrived to eat breakfast, knowing that between him and my dad they would eat most of it.

This year there will be not waiting. Because he won’t be coming in his car. His face won’t be smiling and he won’t be yelling “Merry Christmas” in the voice that will never leave my brain.

That is because he is in Heaven now.

My brain has gotten so used to this happening. To him walking in that door every Christmas. When he got a serious girlfriend who later became his wife, Aunt Angie would come too. You would always know she picked out the present my sister’s and I got but just knowing they cared enough to bring us a present, no matter how small, meant a lot. Just getting to see them was enough for me.

My Uncle Randy was an unforgettable person. You would always know he was there the second he walked in he door. He would grab you and pull you into the biggest bear hug you would ever get in your life. He would be laughing that huge infectious laugh that couldn’t help but make you laugh too. With him, you couldn’t help but smile. And I always felt so blessed because I had two uncles that always made me laugh.

Well, now Randy is gone. And I don’t know how my family is going to handle this. It is going to be so hard, but we will be getting through it together.

My grandparents had an ornament made with his picture on it. It will be on the tree while we are sitting opening presents at their house Christmas day. I know it won’t be the same, but in some way it will be comforting. It will remind me that even if he isn’t physically there, he is watching over us at that moment. And while that won’t change the hurting that is going on in our hearts, it will remind us that up in Heaven he is wrapping us all up in a big bear hug.