I'll start off by saying this - I have been in school since I was age three and since then, school has always been a constant staple in my life. Now, at age 21, that constant will be coming to an end in December and I'm not sure how to deal with it. I can honestly say that I'm terrified of a life after college. I feel like a hermit that wants to stay under a rock rather than explore the world outside of education but I know that's not possible.

Going to school has been like the safety blanket hugging me tight when I was having nervous breakdowns of "growing up." It was a reminder that I was still labeled a student and not an adult. I thought that graduating college would make me feel ready to take on the world and proudly say that I was "adulting", but somehow I’ve been feeling quite the opposite. Either way...here are two simple reasons I'm afraid of graduating.

1. Finding the "The Perfect Job"

Graduating was always this thing I strived towards for as long as I can remember. I always thought that when it came time to graduate, I would feel so ready to move on into the "real world." I imagined I would graduate and have the perfect job waiting for me on the other end and not have to worry about struggling ever again. Realistically though, will that happen? The chances are very slim and I've come to realize that I'm going to struggle to find a "good job" that I genuinely enjoy. Also, getting that "perfect job" is going to be competitive AF since, like me, there are going to be a lot of other freshly graduated college students within my major looking for the same job. I'm also beginning to learn that in order to get that "perfect job," i'm gonna have to go through some very shitty ones first.

2. Getting Bored...Missing homework

Quick Question...did I really just put bored there? Yep...I did. I'm afraid that I'll get bored of being out of college. With College comes assignments, projects, twenty-page papers, etc. and even though I might've hated it most of the time, it's scary that I'll probably never have that ever again. It's like a love-hate relationship. It's weird for me to read what I just wrote and think that I'll actually miss those very same assignments, projects, and papers that made me suffer with anxiety and stress but I really will. They kept me going and always kept me busy and there's no doubt that once I graduate, I'll miss having to do it.

Am I still afraid of graduating? yes. Will I crawl under a rock after graduation? No. When that time comes, I'm going to embrace that I accomplished something I strive to get to my whole life and I'm going to look forward to the new chapter that will begin immediately. I may not walk out of college with that guaranteed "perfect job" but I will have that guaranteed opportunity to use what I learned in college and apply it in the real world. Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm gonna start adulting!