It was happening. Everything she was afraid of was happening. She saw her happiness and joy crumbling in front of her, and yet she stood there frozen. All that she loved and all that she could ever have wanted, slipping through her fingers. She kept replaying the conversation in her head as if it was recorded on repeat.
“It’s for the better, It won’t be forever.” He promised her with sorrow filled eyes.
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“This isn’t happening.. This isn't happening.” She repeated to herself as the tears started to fall from her eyes. He became but a memory forever burned into her mind, the one thing she couldn’t run away from. She trusted him with her heart, her happiness. He made her feel something, he made her feel alive. Now it's all gone. She laid in her bed for the first 3 days, sobbing and trying to push back all the memories of him. She couldn’t seem to get his laugh out of her head. She loved the way his smile would claim his face laughing at her terrible jokes, it made her feel like someone was caring. She can remember all the inside jokes they had, and the pointless conversations they had that meant the world to her. All they were now were memories.
After about a week she decided that it would be best to actually go and face the demons knocking at the door of her mind. She opened the door and everything came like a tidal wave. The thoughts, the physical pain in her heart, the reality that she couldn’t escape. She would lay in bed, and go numb from the pain. She would always wonder if he was feeling what she was. Everyone around her tried what they could to help her. All she was able to do was smile and put on the facade that she was okay, she wasn’t; she was far from it. She couldn’t go anywhere without something reminding her of him, whether is was a song that came on, or a memory that would claim her mind. Hell, even the way people would say things reminded her of him. She couldn’t escape what he’d done to her heart. He made it beat again, and now she feels the pain seeping from the crack in it.
Over time, she learned to smile again even though it wouldn’t be as bright as the one he gave her. She learned to let her heart feel pain instead of locking it away in the dark shadows of her mind. She learned what true strength was and understood what true pain was. She learned that love was something you couldn’t replace with just anyone or anything. She understood that people will walk in and out of your life, but the ones you love will never leave your mind. The funny thing about this is, she is me and I am her.
