Ask and it will be given to you.

Take a moment to forget every circumstance you're in, every financial problem you're in, every living or situational difficulties you may face, and just imagine for a minute. If you were to do anything at all in your life with no money, or situational things holding you behind, none of it mattered, what would you do? No, really what would you want to do? This is one of my favorite questions to ask beyond "what makes you upset?" because it really cuts to the root of a person. I'm also really terrible at small talk. I.E. I got into an uncomfortable conversation about Northern weather with a person and I could not get off the topic. Sorry man. But, when I was younger I used to ask something similar like "what are your passions?". I suppose I've always had a flare for the dramatic. I could usually tell if I'd have much to talk about with someone if they had an answer of any kind. Even if it was about a stamp collection. Some people looked at me with a blank stare like a giant green alien was devouring my head, and with others, their eyes lit up as they explained to me their loves and passions in life. I knew that twinkle their eyes to be similar to mine. I found something I was so in awe with and I wanted everyone to feel the same way I did about what they loved.

I don't think we mean to grow out these desires, or forget them completely. Look at a child. You ask a class of kindergartners what they want to be and you'll get anything from Veterinarian, Astronaut, to Olympic Athlete. Sometimes it takes an instant for us to know what we like, others it takes until college. But by that moment, the world has made us jaded, and the possibility of us pursuing our desires is slim. My first desire was singing. I'll never forget that summer. It was the summer after second grade and I didn't make 3rd-grade ensemble. I was jumping on the trampoline when my mom yelled outside that my teacher called to tell us that she made a mistake, and that I actually did in fact make the ensemble! Oh the joy that filled my heart! Those were the passions I followed and continue to grow and follow to this day, but something has changed.

Seek and you will find.

I fell in love with Jesus, radically encountered Him at a conference, grew deeper and deeper in love, and now, I am about to graduate with a different degree than I anticipated, and a different job than I anticipated as a missionary. But this didn't come easily by any means. And that is a long story in itself. But quite simply, something strange happened with my desires. They shifted, and I began to fear them. Listen, my whole life had been shifted and focused on theatre and pursuing my acting and singing dream since that day I was eight years old. Except this time, I fell in love with Jesus, and I turned around and looked to Him to ask for my plan. "Jesus I love acting, but is this what you want me to do?" "Lord, I love singing, but is this what you want me to do?" Those things are absolutely good and necessary, because the Lord does indeed have the best plan for us, and I knew that in my heart, but...I still loved the arts and I didn't foresee giving that up.

Knock and the door will be opened to you.

I put fear where it didn't need to be. I put fear where they Lord tells you not to...in Him. I feared where He might take me, what I might do, and it led me to really resenting Him from time to time. That's not what God wants for our hearts. That's not the relationship He wants to have. Unfortunately, I've spent too much time in this fear and I have only learned this recently. God wants to fulfill the desires of our hearts. "Find your delight in the LORD who will give you your heart’s desire." -Psalm 37:4 God not just only take those desires, he purifies them, and he multiplies them better than we could plan them out for ourselves. So why don't we trust Him? Someone told me that God would not put desires in our hearts if He wasn't going to use them. It took me a long time to figure out that to be true. Does that mean we will get everything we ever want? Not necessarily. But, the gifts of the Lord will fulfill and overjoy our hearts with more love than we can imagine.

Do not grow weary my brothers and sisters. Do not fear your desires. Do not fear the stirrings in your heart that God so beautifully gave you. Instead, bring them to Him. Talk to Him about it. Ask Him a million questions. Do not be afraid. For the best way to settle the questions is to ask, and the second best is to rest and work in what we have while we wait for them. God does not wish to fool you. He does not wish to trick you. He wishes to love and be loved by you so very much. Let Him love you.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." -Matthew 7:7-8