The Fallen Starr- Realizations

Well, it was a cold and rainy morning in New York City when Standford woke me early and said I had to look my very best.

“Now listen to me Doll, you have to look your very best. I mean you need to show all of these producers why you are the Star they are looking for.”

I smiled at him while I got up and got myself dressed. “Don’t worry darling, I will be ready.”

He smirked and walked towards me. Then he grabbed my face and pressed it hard.

“I really hope so if you know what is good for you.”

There it was again. He would always be mad at me for some reason. I never knew when he would be in a good mood or not.

“Standford, it is all going to work out," I pleaded.

Within a few minutes, he calms down. It was like he enjoyed hearing me beg.

“Okay Doll, now get dressed.” Then, he grabbed his keys and headed for the door.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“I will be back for you in a couple of hours.”

“Well, okay.”

It was rather strange that he decided to leave at this moment. He was in such a hurry.

He slammed the door and walked out.

As soon as he left I began to cry.

Why do I let him do this to me?

Why can’t I just walk out and never come back?

Damn, here I go again, feeling sorry for myself.

Damn it. I am Rosaline Starr and Standford’s doll. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. Otherwise, I will mess up and make him unhappy.

I just can’t do it. I have to make sure he believes in me again.

Otherwise, he might replace me.

Stop talking nonsense, you idiot!

What you need is a drink.

Yes, a drink will help.

I was just going to pour myself a drink when in comes Standford.

“Not now doll, you will spoil your breakfast.”

“Standford, you are back.”

“Yes, I went out to get you something doll.”

He is smiling and on the bed.

“What is it?”

“Well, come to the bed and I will tell you.”

Oh goodness again. He wants me again.

I am still exhausted from the night before.

“Come on Doll. Do as I ask.”

I fake a smile as he once again has his way with me.

It just seems like it is never enough.

After about an hour he jumps in the shower.

I am laying on the bed. I am so tired.

“So where is my surprise, Standford?”

“Hold on", he hollers

Then he comes out of the shower and dries off while dressing in front of me.

“It is on the dresser Doll.”

Then I see it.

“Oh my goodness! It is beautiful.”

“I thought you would love it.”

“But it must have cost a fortune.”

“You are worth it doll.”

I just can’t believe he spent so much on me. A real emerald necklace.

As he places it on me, he smirks again. “You look beautiful doll.”

Then, it hits me as I stare in the mirror.

I am a star and I need to live like one.

“Standford, this is so beautiful.”

“Just like you, my beautiful Rosaline Starr.”

For the first time, I realize how much life has changed and I need to embrace it, but I worry how much more of the old me will be left.