I always wanted to go to college away from home, where no one knew me and I could be whoever I wanted to be. In all my expectations about my freshman year of college, I never expected to find myself homesick. I have always had a close relationship with my parents and sisters. However, I never realized how much I depended on them until I moved 1,359 miles away from home.
Every college freshman goes through the same thing: New Student Orientation, where there are people hovering around you like vultures, making sure you feel welcome and at home in your new environment. Your schedule is so packed full of games and group activities that you do not realize how much of an introvert you truly are.
I came to college with the goal of being myself —
or a more outgoing version of myself — but I did not expect it to actually happen. I am so fortunate to attend a school with less than 4,200 undergraduates. It made the transition from small-town Minnesota to crazy Massachusetts a little easier. It also helped that I joined enough activities and sports to distract myself from the fact that I would only be able to see my family once in the next 10 months.They say freshman year of college is the time to really discover who you are. Man were they right, whoever they are. I discovered that I love being part of a family, even if we are not related. I joined the varsity women's crew team, who are such a close-knit, amazing group of girls. The most dedicated, hardworking and supportive people on campus. There is just something about being forced to trust one another not to flip a boat into a lake that brings a team together.
A few months later, I joined one of my school's five sororities and really found home. I know some people may not agree, but I loved my sisters instantly. They are always there for me and accept me for the hot mess that I am. Within my sorority, I have another family, who for some reason picked me. They picked me and thought that I would be a good addition to their family. And I was. I cannot imagine how I could have survived freshman year without them. From lunch dates to family slumber parties where we eat as much ice cream as we can, I never had time to feel lonely. They were my surrogate family, because my biological one was halfway across the country.
For the first few weeks, I called my parents every day. They liked to stay updated on my life, and I wanted to tell them all about it. I called my sisters to help them with homework or ask for advice. Over the course of the fall and winter, my classes got harder and my activities required more of my time. I began to let the daily phone call slip to every other day, and eventually to once a week. I always seemed to be doing something and did not feel any different. However, by the time spring came around, I began to notice the void.
The one where you want to turn around and tell your mom how pretty the blooming flowers are, until you realize she is not there. The one where you read a nerdy joke and turn to share it with your dad, until you realize he is not behind you. The one where you need outfit advice for your date, but you cannot run downstairs to ask your big sister. The one where you see a bunny and run towards it, then remember that your baby sister is not chasing it with you. The one where you have an inexplicable urge to run, but your dog is not there to cheer you on. That void.
As I enter into my final week of freshman year, I am counting down the days until I can go home. Until I can see my sisters, my mom and dad and my dogs. I keep thinking to myself, "I am almost done. I can do this." Then I remember that I have three more years of this. And then I realize that I have a whole lifetime of this, and wonder how on earth I thought moving far away was a good idea.
It's official: I am a homebody. I will always miss my family in Minnesota, but I am so blessed to have so many other supportive people in my life who have shown me the importance of family.I have been adopted by more people than I can count, all across the country. I know that wherever I end up in life, I will be surrounded by people I love. I just hope that I can pass on the same feeling of security to next year's incoming freshmen. After all, you can never have too many families.
