Who am I and where do I fit in on this cycling sphere I call home

A question as old as time itself and as infinite as the oceans that sparkle like sapphires

I am a feisty young woman who lives in a small, well smaller town

I am a proud Jewish girl who wears her star with pride and dignity and respect

I am worldly and well spoken

But forced to live in a world of straight back, chin up, chin down, tilt the head, don’t look too gorgeous but not too ugly

Wait! Ahh… perfect.

But wait, what do you mean “Perfect”

Perfection is teaching us to be the housewives, that a guy can walk all over us and if you want to keep him, you best keep quiet

Because we are still on the fields of the fifth grade playground and if a guy touches you then he’s just “Pulling your pigtails”

Perfection is teaching us not to question the dystopia, that differences are imperfections, that if you are imperfect then you don’t deserve to be loved.

It's change and privacy we want, not political statements or glorification.

Perfection is those brands, those boots, that music, that language, that social media, those friends and these activities. Smoke, drink and party while you’re young, kids.

Cause when you are older, you will be too wrecked to realize those “cool kids” were wrong.

Perfection is accepting that things are the way they are. That the direction of the wind will never change, that 2+2=3. That women don’t deserve a voice, that victims should be silenced, that schools ignore what’s right in front of them, that they can’t have the privacy they so long for.

I’ll tell you what’s not perfection though.

Perfection isn’t that blue-haired girl who listens to punk rock and is always there to lend a shoulder to anyone because she knows what every heartache and break feels like

It isn’t that one shy boy who never raised his voice with his father in mind but who’s "corrupted" mind is sparking with the innovations of the future

It isn’t that plus-sized girl who spends her afternoons teaching the special education students that they are a gift to the world and to their parents. Because she has overcome her challenges but knows others face new ones every day.

It isn’t that guy who dedicated his time to his loving boyfriend and every charity organization in their community because they know what it feels like to have nothing but hope

It isn’t the short haired girl or long haired boy who has never once failed a donation to give others a sense of beauty while they are still on Earth.

It isn’t about the strong-willed and feisty women, the muscular men with the kindest hearts

It’s about fitting in and not deviating from the system so many took so long to “Perfect”

I am a girl who pours her soul and tears in the paper that sits before her

I am a girl who has suffered bullying while her mom was being diagnosed with breast cancer

I am a girl who is still battling her way through the panic and anxiety attacks of everyday life

I am a girl who is still standing tall, proud and in her own way.

I am beyond my years

I am worldly and well spoken

I am a proud Jewish girl who wears her star with pride and dignity and respect

I am a feisty young woman living in a small town

I am the answer to a question as old as time itself and as infinite as the oceans that sparkle like sapphires

This is who I am and where I fit in on this cycling sphere I call home

I am the definition of perfection as it should be

I am the definition of perfection as it can be if I have the courage to change it