Take a look at any group of friends and you’ll see that everyone plays a role in the dynamic of their group. Every group has the joker and the smart one. Every group also has the fun friend. The one who has to be invited to every social outing.
The one who is always the first on the dance floor and the last off of it. The one who you can always rely on to be a good time even in the worst of situations. I like to think of myself as that friend in my group and for the most part, I love being that friend. It’s great to know that you’re wanted at every social gathering because you’re a good time. It’s also just good for myself because it’s taught me how to force myself into positivity and making the best out of a bad time.
Being the fun friend also has its downfalls. People will immediately assume that because I am the “partier,” my brain has somehow gone out of service. I’m never expected to know the answer to any difficult questions in class or asked to take the lead in any project or activity. Sometimes even my own friends make jokes about it and it is actually very offensive.
I am going to tell you the honest truth, it sucks. It sucks that because I know how to enjoy myself, my intelligence in a school or professional setting is constantly being undermined. It sucks that when I contribute valuable information to a group project, people act surprised like I am not supposed to know the answer. Sure, it’s funny to laugh about the stereotype of the “dumb party girl” every once in a while, but it matters that people understand that the stereotype isn’t actually who I am. Being mocked or patronized because I enjoy a good party is not fair, because doesn’t every college student?
It took a long time for me to realize that the problem is not me, it’s other people. Everyone is so eager to fit others into a labelled box of who they think they are, without ever really getting to know a person. It’s a matter of perception versus ignorant judging and not understanding who other people are.
People are quick to make a decision based off of on one interaction with a person or something that they’ve heard and that’s why we have so many cliques that don't interact (I mean seriously, have we learned nothing from the Breakfast Club?).
But if other people don't want to include me in things because they do not think I can not handle it, that is their loss. They have lost someone who would help make excellent contributions and challenge their thoughts. It is okay to enjoy yourself and party hard. I’m still going to dance until my feet hurt every opportunity I get. None of those things define me or my intellectual abilities. I am going to continue doing me on Saturday nights and nailing that exam at 8:00 a.m. on Monday morning.
