I don’t think there’s any dining hall that serves good food. We can all come to a consensus on that, right? Even with the variety of food spots on campus (the student union and both of the dining halls), out of every aspect of college, the food is the worst part. For you, I have compiled a list of seven things I would rather eat for a meal over the dining hall food.

1. Saltines & peanut butter

People think I’m weird but this is actually something I eat for meals when I’m sick of campus food. It’s not crazy. It’s exactly like packaged peanut butter crackers, just not in a package. It makes sense.

2. Chef Boyardee

This stuff is like Ramen Noodles. I hate it, but I would definitely eat this before walking out to the dining hall, especially now that it’s winter and quite often colder than ever. It’s gross, and it makes me feel like shit but it’s better than the dining hall.

3. A head of raw broccoli

Raw broccoli has both a terrible taste and no taste at all. Even regular broccoli isn’t too great. It’s a small, stupid tree. Why does it exist? Nobody likes it.

4. A plate of asparagus

Like broccoli, who likes asparagus? Nobody.

5. A Banana

Semi-solid, upright baby food.

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6. The week-old rotisserie chicken that's been sitting in my fridge

When snowpocalypse hit, a couple kids from my floor and I went to Earthfare to get ingredients to make some buffalo chicken dip. The dip was gone in a day. The chicken, however, was plentiful and still sits in my fridge. A week later.

7. Dry Ramen

Cooked Ramen is almost as bad as #2. Now, uncooked ramen... it's raw pasta. Not tasty. Probably not good for your teeth either.

8. My grandmother's meatloaf

Meatloaf is awful. Why the f*ck would you want to eat meat that's been smushed up to resemble a loaf of bread. That's literally mushy meat-bread. Disgusting

9. My math homework

Paper. I would literally eat paper.

10. Road Kill

Desperation has hit. Upper level central is closed and all the good spots in lower level central... let's be real, there are none. I would eat this raccoon.

11. My left hand

Tastes like chicken, right?