The difference between a relationship and a realationship
A good relationship should include the following (but is certainly not limited to):
Respect
Excitement
Love
Admiration
Trust
Interest
Oneself
Natural Insticts
Security
Honesty
Intimacy
Passion
For the rest of this piece, I'll be elaborating on what exactly I mean by all of this. Some are straight forward, and others need a bit more explaining, but this is a basic list of ingredients in the recipe for a real and successful relationship.
Respect
Your partner should feel a deep appreciation for you and their actions should reflect this. You are precious and important and should be treated as such.
Excitement
More often than not, dullness and monotony can dampen and eventually soil a relationships. Even the most quaint and quiet people yearn for a little excitement here and there. A partnership should be able to stand on its own through whatever circumstances, however keeping it exciting and having something to look forward to can make things simple, easy flowing, and remind you that you are both on the same team- in this together.
Love
The most valuable and self explanatory. Without love, you're just shuffling through time, wasting it away. Love comes in varying degrees, but a relationship needs ounces of it at the beginning, and tons of it after a decent amount of time. With love, you can fill time and space with something worthwhile and pleasing. The tenderness and fondness of genuine, candid love is the natural fuel to the human spirit.
Admiration
In a healthy relationship there should be a level of admiration for your partner. You should look up to and be inspired by your partner. You should hold them to a high esteem. You should be proud to be a part of them and feel honored to be a part of their story.
Trust
You have to have trust in your partner. I have tried to continue staying with someone after the trust was broken, and it only breeds a negative suspicion and insecurity within oneself that is hard to handle and contain. You should have confidence in your partner's reliability otherwise your relationship can crack and crumble at every bump in the road. Just as love is the fuel to the human spirit, trust is the wheel that drives it forward. A relationship without trust is a vehicle without wheels, a heavy object that is difficult to move. Without trust, we lose faith in our partner. Without the ability to rely on someone a relationship is worthless. Furthermore, the assurance that your someone will hold themselves accountable to their word, their promises, and their morality is the very thing that makes a relationship valid.
Interest
This shows itself in a couple way. Number One, humans are naturally selfish beings. Even our most selfless acts are usually stitched together with the threads of self-servitude. For instance, someone may donate to charity, but a lot of the reason they do it, is they know that they will feel better because of it. By giving, they ultimately gain. In this way, there should be a consistent interest in the things that we gain from the relationship. Secondly, our interest should be replenished every day. More often than not this interest shows itself as a genuine interest in making sure your partner is healthy and happy - our partner's happiness usually directly affects ours. In this way, your own interest is there, and your own happiness can skyrocket as you please your partner. Paying attention and showing interest is another way to keep your partner happy and subsequently give yourself a healthier relationship. As long as the balance persists between special attention and not obsession, as well as a balance between give and take.
Oneself
For some of us, when you are in a relationship and working to keep your partner happy, it is easy to forget about yourself. You have to remember that your relationship began because your partner fell in love with you as an individual. It is that same person within you that you can't let go of for your own sake and for the sake of the relationship. A relationship shouldn't call for the depletion of your own unique self, you are just as big a part as your partner when creating and building a relationship. You should continue to live as a separate entity within a relationship- rather than force yourself to alter, stretch, bend, and eventually crack for the consideration and convenience of another. A relationship is about the people within it, and the well-being of two that make up the partnership. It should not turn into a muddled enigma between two confused/obsessed/blind spirits.
Natural Instincts
As with anyone's life, you are going to run into things that make you feel uncomfortable; things that take getting used to. That is normal, but for the most part, a relationship should feel natural. There should be an overall organic friendship between you and your partner. Your relationship should have an affinity to it beyond all calculation and over-analyzation.
Security
There should be security in your relationship and you should take comfort in a partnership free of threats, abuse, and danger. A relationship should be a safe space on all fronts- physical, sexual, emotional, and mental. As well as this, the relationship should be secure. The dictionary defines secure as, “fixed or fastened so as not to give way, become loose, or be lost". You should not fear the imminent danger of a lost relationship.
Honesty
There should be a level of integrity, trustfulness, and sincerity within all our lives and without exception, our relationships. From honesty stems loyalty- the cardinal foundation of any relationship.
Intimacy - AKA - Closeness.
Your intimacy with your partner should go further than just physical closeness and sex. Your intimacy should show itself not only in the things you choose to tell your partner, but the emotion and sentiment behind the things you tell them.
Passion
Your strong feelings should shine through everything else. It is the emotional and heartfelt energy inside of you that drives the relationship you create and enjoy anyways, so you should let it burst through whenever the instinct occurs. Your passion should be fiery and fervent for your partner and you should trust this passion and love them unapologetically.
There are certain things that all healthy and happy relationships have in common, these are a few of those things. I encourage you to note any of the things I've forgotten on this list, and never forget the 'blueprint' to relationships, so as not to find yourself aimlessly meandering in something not fruitful, or that doesn't serve your highest purpose and help you better yourself.
