"You are not worth it! You are untalented! Why did you choose this as your career?"
Ever wonder why you decide to do something, go into a certain career, or just question everything in your entire life up until now? Welcome to my life after the past few weeks! The last few weeks my brain has been filled with thoughts of not knowing what the hell I am suppose to be doing with my life. I am having a lot of self doubt lately...is it because I am a newer massage therapist or do I think it's because I feel even though I am educated with a bachelors degree, associate's degree, and three certifications I still feel like a dumb-ass with no idea what the hell I am doing with my life.
Granted I do think it is normal to feel like an idiot when your not even a year into your new career, but it just highly irritating when you think you know what your doing and you have people insinuating you do not know what you're doing. As I reflect on some decisions I have made in my life I can't help think how my life would be if I would have made different decisions and choices; would I still be at the same stop i am right now. The realistic answer would be no absolutely not. You probably would have married your High School boyfriend and would be pregnant with my second child. No offense to my ex-boyfriend (him and I are still good friends to this day), but I would have probably been miserable. I am no housewife or mother, yes I would have figured it out, but I would not have been a rock-star by any means. Knowing myself and my ex we would have probably ended up in divorce....and have us hating each other.
It is just extremely interesting to think and reflect on the different life decisions I have made and everyone around me have made. But, even though I know that the decisions I have made are the right decisions; I can't help but think are they really the wrong decisions. Should I look into a different career? Should I actually use my bachelor's degree and go into the political arena or is there another arena that I should have gone into? Who knows, but I do know it is good to relfect on past decisions and learn from past experiences.