Since I’ve known you, we always had a strong connection. It was one of those friendships that had people jealous, one of the ones you see in a movie. It was unconditional, and we proved that to the fullest. Even though we were only 16 when we dated, we taught each other how to love. Regardless of what people thought or wanted to believe, we were crazy about each other. We were young, learning, still growing, but not perfect. You were, at one point in my life, the most important person. I came to you with anything, and you were there. I did the same for you, your crying shoulder. Years after we broke up, we were still there. Whether it was a random text here and there quoting one of our favorite movies, a simple call to see “Hey, what’s up? How are you?” or just to say “I’m thinking of you.” I knew I could always count on you to make me smile if I was having a hard day. You were always the person I’d call when I needed to vent or if I wanted someone to make dinner for; you never left my mind or my life.
It had been a while since I last saw you, our schedules never lined up. There you were, randomly walking past me in the city. I caught you out of the corner of my eye. We did one of those “Hey; I know you” nods. What the hell was that?! I instantly turned around and ran back to give you a hug. I’ll cherish that hug forever. I’ll remember your smile that day, and the laugh that sang in my ears when I said, “We don’t just nod, Rory.” Dang, I miss your laugh.
Right after that hug, I texted you. We talked all night about needing to work something out to see each other more. Weeks passed, months and before I knew it, a year. We always continued to talk though, nothing ever changed. Until the day you didn’t text me back...
I was in Disney World with my daughter and a friend of mine. I had plans to send you snaps the next day because I’d be in the Magic Kingdom (your favorite park)...I had set my alarm on my phone and went to bed. The next morning I woke up before my alarm went off, I had this overwhelming feeling to check Facebook. So like any other morning, that’s what I did. That’s when it happened. So many people were commenting on your girlfriend’s Facebook, asking if she was okay. My heart started to race; my stomach was in knots. I knew something was wrong. I didn’t care how early it was; I began to blow up your phone. I called you, I texted you, I snapped you, and I left voice messages. You were always the one to text me back, why wouldn’t you? In between sobs and gasps for air, I pleaded. "Please answer the phone. Please pick up. Please text me back."
The words “Two Pass in Local House Fire” burned my mind and my thoughts. It was you. My phone fell from my hands, my body got hot, and I started shaking. It couldn’t be. You always text me back. I started reaching out to others to get some sort of support and offer mine to them. Nothing helped, nothing made me feel better. You were gone, just like that; in a blanket of smoke.
I tried my best to go on that day, to enjoy the park. I took the same pictures I planned to send you, and I snapped them to you; knowing they’d go unopened. I wrote you a letter on Facebook to try to get out my words, our memories. That’s what you are to me and always will be a memory. I will never forget you, and you’ll always be in my heart. Today, October 22nd would be your 23rd birthday. I’ll never say goodbye “because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting.” That is something we have said to each other for years, and it couldn’t be more fitting. It is now tattooed on my back and will remain there forever. I have the notes you wrote me in high school, the pictures we took and the adventures we shared. These things might fade, but I will always have the memories. Not a day goes by where I am not reminded of you. Fly high.
Love Always,
Hayley
To the reader: Hug your loved ones often, love them and love them hard. Remind them who they are to you. Communicate often. Let the little things go; don’t hold a grudge. Lastly, never take one minute for granted because the next minute, you might only have the memories.
